The final countdown

Four days until Christmas.

And its pouring rain. Yuck. Admittedly in these parts we are more likely to have green Christmas than those in other parts of the country, but this is nuts.

It is supposed to be 11 degrees and rain in the 23rd. What?!

Crazy stuff. We're headed north to see Big C's dad so we should have snow, but even that could be touch and go as they're forecasting warmth and rain just before the big day there too.

We've completed one Christmas already. It was good too. My mom and stepfather were down. We went bowling, opened gifts, had food, played cards. Mostly we just had some fun and lots of laughs. A good time had by all really.

Miss K was excited about bowling but then her ear began to hurt so the enthusiasm wore off a bit. She perked back up when we got there and then proceeded to have a good afternoon and evening with her grandparents and parents before passing out at 7:50pm last night. Some ibuprofen and ear drops and she was good to go for today so that is a blessing.

I'm a little disappointed that I still have one Christmas present to get…a gift card that I cannot get anywhere but at the store it is for. And I have not got there yet. I do feel that I could wait until after Christmas though as we will not be giving this gift until we return from the nord.

That and it was a weekend of hemorrhaging money. We knew there was going to be the last gift cards and cash for the sitter, dog walker, etc… as well as the inevitable liquour and beer run. But we did not plan on the 220.00 vet bill.

The dog has some sort of infection between his toes. The vet says its pretty common in dogs, especially the water loving kind of dog like ours, but its not so common to have the infection in 3 of 4 paws instead of just one.

Awesome. Now we have to manage 2 weeks of antibiotics and a few doses of corticosteroids for the inflammation. I say we, but I really mean me. I am the one that is up in the morning feeding him for the most part and supper time is a crap shoot, so I might as well do the whole thing.

He is typically fabulous at taking any sort of meds. Put it in his food and he eats it. Done.

Friday night that got blown to hell. He chomped one of the capsules instead of inhaling food like normal. It burst open and he just about gagged on what was inside. No way no how was he going back near that bowl of food. 

He could have been famished for all I knew, but he wasn't going back lest he get a taste of that medicine again.

So, we've now resorted to the capsule wrapped in a partial cheese slice method for administering these pills. It works nicely, but he's enjoying the cheese a bit too much I think. He follows me around wondering if there may be more. If he were a dog on the street would he be a drug addict? LOL

Big C is on antibiotics for a sinus type infection…I'm surrounded by sickies.

It should be a good Christmas, Miss K is excited but isn't losing the true meaning of things either. I chuckled last week when the 2 elf on the shelfs they have at school got together and had a birthday party for Jesus in the classrooms. I thought it a good mix of Christianity and the Santa Phenomenon.

I will still grumble some about the commercialism and mass marketing machine that is Christmas, but I'm staying out of the hustle and bustle as much as I can and hopefully staying sane in the process.

Yesterday was a simple day with family, I hope the rest of the season can be as much fun and possibly filled with naps.

Sleep is eluding me these days. The hours between 4 and 5:30 am seem to be the most troublesome. Miss K was up at 5:10 this morning, that did not help the situation.

I crave 8 solid hours of good quality sleep. Long for it. Yearn for it. But, the zzz's do not come. 

They will though. Every week or 2 of 6 hour slumber nights are followed by a couple weeks of solid sleep nights that really do recharge the system.

You take what you get, once done its done there is no going back…and all that cliche type crap.

Christmas vacation could not come at a better time. I need the recharge, the food, the drinks the time spent with loved ones.

Til next time…hope you can recharge your life over the festive season

Things get better with age, or at least they change

They say things get better with age. I'm not so sure about better, unless you're talking cheese or whisky, but I do know that your perspective on things certainly does change.

Big C and I had an adults only weekend, a date night and day if you will. It was delightful to be away from home, away from responsibility and household chores doing things that we love to do.

I missed the kids terribly but it did not take away from the weekend in the least. When its luxurious to lay in bed until almost 9 am (even though you were awake at 6:45 am) you know that you are long overdue for some down time.

We dropped the kid and fur kid off at grandma's early Saturday morning and took off for the big metropolitan area that is about 2 hours away from our home. 

Traffic was light so we arrived in time to check into the hotel and have a bite to eat before the show.

And by show I mean a matinee showing of Phantom of the Opera. This was the first time we'd seen the show together, but the 3rd time for us both individually.

I'd been looking forward to seeing it since we'd got the tickets 2 months prior and it did not disappoint.

I don't gush about much. But I had chills or goosebumps when the first familiar chords started to play. It was a lovely way to spend an afternoon, well worth the somewhat pricy tickets. I was actually sad that it was over so quickly.

But it was funny how differently I saw the production this time versus the last time which was nearly 25 years ago.

Yes the sets were different and the actors of course. Technology has changed and there was evidence of that in the show, but it was something more intangible than the obvious.

By my best estimation I was in my late teens the first 2 times I saw Phantom. I loved it. I was a big musical theatre fan so this was a big event in my life. The music was cool, people I knew wanted to go, it was a big deal at the time.

But I'm not sure how much I got the story. I mean I understood what was going on, but this most recent time had a much different effect on me.

It was still fantastic and a joy to watch on the outside. But I saw more of the darkness and love story this time.

It hit harder, and was more emotional than I expected it to be. I nearly had tears in my eyes in the last scene when the "phantom" breaks down and laments his fate. Disfigured, but immensely talented, controlling but just a man in love. 

I was amazed at how much my perspective changed and how differently I felt leaving the theatre. Usually you are happy you saw it and entertained for a couple hours but this time was something new.

Perhaps it was not just age that changed my view, maybe the third time through I saw something different that I missed before. I really don't know.

It was neat though. Having a more emotional connection to the actors on stage. Big C said he saw things differently this time through. Perhaps it was the newer staging or perhaps it was that age has changed or altered our perception and observance.

Whatever the case we had a lovely afternoon, a big steak dinner, a walk about the city and a relaxing weekend just the two of us doing things we loved and enjoying one another's company.

Whether it is a sign of age or not, I'm grateful for the experience and opportunity.

I'm still running through the songs in my head even today…

Til next time…may you watch or see something that makes you laugh/smile or feel better about the day, or maybe even changes your thinking on something

Making lunches and the 12 bills of Christmas

December the 9th. We slowly march toward the festive season, or hurtle uncontrollably depending on your perspective. I know for one I'm counting down the remaining 7 school days until the break, at which point I will have a respite from the dreaded school lunch.

I am not a bento box, cheese cut into a locomotive and its cars kind of mom. No cutsie sandwiches or animal shaped fruit comes out of our kitchen. You want that shit, either make it yourself or find a different mom.

I ain't got time for that crap. You give me your order, that is what you get, occasionally I will think to cut the cheese into a triangle or something easily derived out of the block, but that is the extent of it.

For all you mom's out there who send delightful characters made out of vegetables or notes inscribed in their cookies, good on you. All the more power to you, but its lunch, and its all going to the same place, cute or not.

Miss K is pretty good, or should I say pretty consistent. She basically eats the same damn thing every day. I can handle it. Sometimes she even helps prep it with me. But in all honesty for the most part I do it alone, along with my own and Big C's if the need is there.

Some would say I should make her prep it. Its her lunch after all. True enough, and she will assist sometimes. 

But in all honesty at this stage in her school career it is just easy if I do it. She's still too little to cut things without supervision and I will be damned if I'm dragging out all the lunch fixings when we're trying to accomplish the whirlwind of getting home, making dinner, eating, feed and exercise the dog, snack time, bath and reading/snuggle time in the 2.5 hours we have.

I will just do the lunches on my own time with little to no help.

I do get bitter sometimes. I've always hated making lunches…it goes back to my high school days, but for about the last 30 years or so on a week day I've had to make myself a lunch and I say yuck.

I do wish someone else would do it for me. I at one point offered my mom 5 bucks to make my lunch every day for high school. She paused, obviously doing the math like I was and was about to say yes, when I finally figured out that would be 25 bucks a week I'd have to pay her to make my lunch.

I lived in the day and age where you could buy a school lunch for about 5 bucks or less, so I quickly decided against hiring her.

It's not that I hate taking a lunch. I don't at all. It's usually healthier, and a ton cheaper than buying something every day, I just hate assembling the damn thing. 

You can send me 30 different ways to make things more efficient or whatever and it still boils down to the same thing, I'm making my damn lunch.

Yes, yes I know be thankful I have the leftovers or supplies to make a lunch and snacks. I get all that, I'm not being ungrateful, just whiny.

Everyone has that chore they hate…for some its laundry, others vacuuming, for me its making lunches (and doing dishes). And unlike some chores it cannot be put off, if you want to eat a lunch the next day you must assemble it prior to that time and bring to your final destination for the day.

A necessary evil. Big C says its in the "contract" that I make his lunch when he requires one as well. 

I would love to see this contract, but do admit he will help me out from time to time, not that it makes it any better but at least the painful process is over somewhat quicker.

Aside from my lunch rant, life is pretty normal. The dog has something wrong with his one foot, its all swollen. All of them were at one point, now it seems to be just the one. May that go away soon, lest there be a big vet bill before Christmas.

My car is sounding weird. Crossing my fingers it will just keep rolling along for the next 2 weeks and save me a big repair bill. 

Ahhh money tree where art thou? There should be the 12 bills of Christmas song…the bills you weren't expecting but came at this time of year anyway.

Til next time…may your kids get some sort of Christmas lunch at school so there is one less to make 

The countdown continues and Nightmare on Elf Street

Somehow time has ticked away so that we are only 22 days away from Christmas.

How in the hell did that happen?

I thought I was ready this year. I mean you pretty much have a 364 day warning that its coming again on December 25th, but still you don't ever seem quite prepared enough.

I am trying to keep things low key and minimize the stress however. I'm one that would be all for a burgers and beer and store bought cake type of Christmas. But I also confess to loving big turkey dinners with loads of homemade treats.

Shopping is pretty much done. Thanks to the 24/7 availability of the online store it makes a busy mom's life much easier when she can shop on Tuesday night at 9 o'clock in her p.j.'s. One can even get their husband's approval on items they are buying for his relatives. Thank you God for the internet, you have saved my sanity, not to mention a trip to the mall, which would result in rage or at least annoyance of indescribable proportions.

I've got a good start on baking and cooking for the holiday too which is a plus. The next few weekends have quite a bit of stuff going on, so not much time for domestic chores.

All in all as prepared as I should or could be. Still some stuff to get, but we're down to the gift card/cash/alcohol stage so that is pretty straightforward to do at any time without being mobbed.

Miss K is starting to get excited about the big event, or big events as they have about 100 things going on this month for them at school. There's a big dinner, some field trip to a play, among other things.

She took her head out on a rock Tuesday at school. Which resulted in her being basically sent home with a watch for concussion symptoms sheet of paper that had to be signed and returned if she passed the test so to speak. 

When her description of the events was that she thinks she tripped on a stick while playing hide and seek and thought it funny that the "girls" were looking all over for her. (she was the self proclaimed winner of the hide and seek that lunch period). She was impressed with the freezie she got while sitting in the office and was thoroughly impressed that she got to go home early with what she said was not even a "contusion"

I declare no sign of concussion, just typical 5 year old enthusiasm for something out of the ordinary.

Yesterday I came home to pick her up to find she'd spiked a pretty good fever. Awesome. Kinda figured it was coming as the day before there were 7 kids absent from her class. (she made 8 with the head injury).

She was reasonably pleasant over the course of the evening, even managing to join us for supper, but she was in bed at 7:15 saying that everything hurt and we prepared for the night of drama to come.

All in all not so bad. She awoke at 10:30 complaining that her ears really really hurt. I asked if she wanted ear drops and she said yes, so with that affirmation I know things must have been rough. I stuck around for a snuggle and when I went to go back to bed she gave me that look that would melt the heart of any parent around.

The look that says "I know you really can't do much for me mom, but if you could just hang out I'd be really really happy". OK, done.

I scooped up Miss K and off to the spare bed we went. I did manage to scare the crap out of Big C when I told him what was up…poor guy. About 5 seconds after I crawled into bed with Miss K she let out a big sigh and fell into a fitful sleep. 

The fever broke a couple hours later and life and sleep returned to almost normal. She was gung ho to go to school for a while, then thought maybe a day at the sitter's might be better as it had already been a pretty crazy week.

In other news we have an elf. Not an elf on the shelf, but one that acts like it.

Big C really wanted to do it last year and I was not really on board. I was not on board this year either, spending 50 bucks for that creepy looking thing and a book was a little too much for me. Not to mention I don't have the time to hide that stupid toy every night and have it do crafts or change the oil in the car or whatever people do with the damn thing.

That little skinny thing gives me the creeps. Nightmare on Elf Street if you ask me. And spying on kids, to make them behave for the month of December? Bullshit, kids should behave the whole year, not just under the threat of reports to Santa and no toys.

I told Big C he was on his own. If he wanted to be creative, then go for it, I was having no part in it. He  did figure that the real Elf was too much money. But I give him kudos for dubbing a stuffed Elf that we already had as Miss K's pseudo "Elf on the Shelf". She thought it very cool and quickly named it Snowflake.

We're not really doing the "behave or else" spin on things but more the fun magical side of hide and seek and where will he be tomorrow. 

I can get on board with the magic of Christmas and she does delight in even the simplest of moves. Big C tipped Snowflake on his side yesterday before leaving, and Miss K determined he must have got tired and needed a nap.

I'm not a fan of the marketing machine that is Elf on the Shelf, but am a fan of seeing delight and wonder in my kids eyes when she truly believes there is some sort of magic taking place.

After the start of the week that she has had, I will take anything that doesn't involve another bottle of ibuprofen

Til next time….may the elves in your life soon have all the Christmas shopping done

Girl tooth fairies and boy tooth fairies

Yesterday was both a sad and proud day as a parent.

Miss K lost her first tooth. Well, she didn't lose it, we knew exactly where it was as Big C was the one to actually pop it out of her mouth.

I was surprised when he said he was going to pop it out and she agreed. 

It wasn't quite the old piece of string around the tooth and close the door scenario, but close. The two of them managed to accomplish the feat of tooth extraction with no tears or conflict.

I'm not overly squeamish, but I've been battling some sort of stomach bug as of late and the thought of watching a tooth no matter how loose pop out of my child's gums did not sit well with me.

She was super stoked about the whole thing and for that I was proud of her. Very brave and confident and excited that she was one tooth down in the move to having all of her big teeth.

She even reminded the dog how she used to pick up his baby teeth when he would drop them around the house in his teething days. I'm quite sure he did not care and/or remember any of these events but he sat and listened intently just the same.

I was a tiny bit sad too. I remember that tooth coming in about 5 years ago. Wondering how on earth nursing was going to go with that little sucker touching my tender bits. It was all OK of course.

Funny too, how you're excited that the kids are growing and learning and maturing, but sadly nostalgic for what once was. It was exciting that your kid was cutting that tooth seemingly just a few years back and now you're equally ecstatic that they are losing it.

Weird how parenthood goes. The constant push and pull of wanting them to grow up and wanting them to stay small at the same time.

It took a great part of the evening discussing and planning how indeed the tooth would be placed so that the tooth fairy could find it and potentially leave something in exchange for this pearly white nugget.

We eventually settled on in her tooth jar, with the lid off on her nightstand by the night light so that the tooth fairy could see it well and so it wouldn't disturb her while sleeping.

The fairies decided on an amount appropriate for said tooth and determined a note would be a nice added touch as Miss K was kind of emotional about losing her tooth by the end of the night.

She was awake at 4:50 am. She said she needed a drink, I call bullshit, she wanted to know if the tooth fairy left anything.

She got up at 5:30 am when I did…not having gone back to sleep, thank goodness today is a PA Day and she can have a nap at the sitters if need be.

"Mommy I need to check whether my tooth is gone" At that time in the morning she could have asked to go and check if someone took our jar of peanut butter in the middle of the night for all I cared. 

"Mommy the tooth fairy left me a message too, can you read it?" Again, done. 

From what I can tell she divulged a bunch of information about the tooth fairies of the world while I was in the shower. I could not understand a word, only that she was talking and the tail end of the conversation was the revelation that boy fairies must pick up the teeth lost by boys and the girl fairies do the teeth lost by girls. Hard to fault good logic, but again it was early in the morning.

A big milestone in her life for sure and she is revelling in it for the time being. I suspect as more and more come out it will be less of a big deal but we'll take it as it comes.

We figure the other bottom one will be gone in the next week or two, so she really can sing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"…

Til next time…see if you can wiggle it just a little bit…lol

There is a first time for everything

When you are young you experience many firsts. The first time you sit up, the first tooth, the first time you lose a tooth. First steps, first trips, first day of school, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first time riding a bike, first time driving. 

Needless to say I could go on with the list of firsts. Young people can experience multiple firsts in just one day. As you get older though new adventures tend to wane a bit.

Not to say that you don't have them or can't go looking for them, it's just that age and time have sucked some of the life out of "firsts" if you know what I mean.

I had a first on the weekend. I went duck hunting with Big C, Miss K and the puppy dog. I guess it was  another first, as it was the first time hunting overall, not just  the waterfowl thing. 

We had a great time. The weather was decent enough, cool wind but mostly sunny and pleasant to be outside for 5 hours straight.

Miss K was very excited. She's talked for a while about going hunting with daddy and Saturday she finally got her chance. Most days Big C goes hunting at the crack of stupid in the morning and there is no way he's going to drag her out of bed at 3 in the morning for anything but a trip to the bathroom.

I will say it takes a lot of effort to get 3 people and a dog ready for one afternoon of hunting, but we managed to get out the door a little after lunch time.

Thankfully Miss K had a wee snooze on the way to the hunt location so she was raring to go for the remainder of the afternoon.

We set up a whole lot of decoys and helped Big C with targeting in his new shotgun. Which essentially meant we stayed the hell out of the way with hearing protection on and applauding when he made a good shot.

After all the set up was done it was time to head to our layout blinds and hunker in for whatever was to come. For those who don't know what a layout blind is, think low to the ground chaise lounge with fold over camouflage doors that flip up when time to shoot. Pretty cosy when the winds are high.

We didn't even make it to our layout blinds when Big C shouted "duck!" The bird that is not the take cover action. Him and the dog made a jog to get his shotgun and we stayed put. 

The two of them managed to flush the bird, shoot it, and after a bit of a hunt get the fallen bird. Another reason to hunt with a trained retriever as Big C said there was no way he would have ever found the bird without the dog's assistance.

So Miss K was overjoyed when the two of them returned to our set up with a duck in hand. Sadly this was the only one we'd see close up on the day as the other ducks and geese had no interest in visiting our little spot in the corn field.

Miss K had tons of fun hiding in the layout blind and then coming out again. She was a huge help when it came to packing everything up and never once did she say she was tired, or bored or wanted to go home. She didn't ask to watch TV, play on an iPad or wish for her toys. She was content to be outside with us and enjoy the happenings of the day.

I'm still not sure about the whole hunting experience. But I didn't grow up in that environment either. My biggest hunt was where the chicken for dinner might be hiding in the freezer.

I see the excitement and thrill of it a little bit. I suppose if push came to shove and I needed to do so for survival I probably could attempt it. 

For now, I'm content to leave Big C to partake of something he loves mostly by himself. Will there be times that we all go out again… I think so. Do I need to gear up and learn how to shoot things myself?  Not likely. In fact we're probably all better off if I just stay at home and cook whatever the men folk return with. 

It was great being outdoors, great being with the whole family doing something together for the afternoon and taking part in something so near and dear to Big C's heart. For that I will be always grateful, but tracking down wild game for a full time hobby is not in my future

Til next time…I hope you got to spend some quality time with those people that you hold dear to your heart and maybe attempt your very own new "first".

10 months down and another Hallowe'en dance done

The eleventh month of the year has arrived. I'm still not exactly clear where the first 10 months of 2015 have gone, but they are now in the past and we have about 50 days or so until a new year begins. Wow.

Hallowe'en has come and gone. It is not an event I like or dislike. I'm pretty neutral on it overall. I have some sort of inner moral dilemma with kids going door to door asking for treats from people they don't know when current times and school teachings warn of stranger danger. I do enjoy the decorations and the inventive and creative costumes that do come out. I'm mean who doesn't enjoy being something they're not?

Miss K got through the weekend, pretty well. She's had a bit of a cold that she says has been trying to catch her for a while, or she's trying to catch it. Scratchy throats and sore ears are remedied with some drugs so she was fit for Hallowe'en dances and things like that.

I have written before of Miss K's introverted and cautious style. Put her in a room of people she knows well and she is as gregarious and talkative as most kids. Stick her in a room with a lot of noisy and rambunctious kids and she is totally out of her element, not to mention quiet as a church mouse.

She glowed at the thought of attending the Halloween dance again this year. Being a SK, it was going to be so much cooler than last year she said. I figured it was because she knew the drill and it wouldn't be an unfamiliar situation.

Miss K did awesome from the time we hit the door to the school until we hit the gym, then it was a different story.

Before we got to where the "dance" was, she chatted with her teacher, said hi to school mates etc… but then the influx of stimuli happened and she shut down.

We even had tears, big crocodile ones. 

The gym was loud, sort of dark and filled with about 100 kids that could only be described as on some sort of sugar rush and it kind of resembled a roomful of chipmunks on speed. Super cute, but kinda scary.

I was right there by her side. I draw the line in settings like that with clinging to my leg and there is no reason whatsoever not to speak to people you know, but aside from those things, I let her do things at her own speed.

She's not an unpopular kid from what I can tell. Judging by the number of kids that repeatedly came over to say hi and/or try to get her to join in the pit of chipmunk frenzy I gather she is not a social outcast at school. Popular but in her own quiet way I'm guessing.

It was at least 40 minutes before she would venture an arm's length away from me. It broke my heart and made me so proud all in the same night.

I see so much of her dad and I in her. Totally in our element if we know the surroundings and people, not so much when the situation is bigger and less familiar.

You grow frustrated when you see that she is accepted by her friends, but always wonder in the back of your mind how long will they keep coming back if she keeps being so reserved?

I suppose there are always other kids out there that will identify with that and they'll become the close friends. I mean really how many of us still have friends that we had in elementary school?

There was one little girl at the dance that was a bit more outgoing than Miss K, but still stuck close to things she knew. Those two kind of hung out and shared probably more in common than their Elsa princess dresses.

It pains you as a parent to see your kid clam up and be so anxious. You want for them to be at ease in any situation.

But on the flip side you can see why they're not. Miss K shares my introversion, maybe not in the same way but I have no love for large crowds or worse yet small talk with people I don't know well.

I was very proud of her though. She seems like the kind of kid I would have gravitated towards at school or in social situations. 

She is not the over the top in your face kid that you really would just take a chill pill or go back to whatever wild and bold place they came from, but rather the fun loving one that just takes a bit to get to know.

Miss K wanted to go to that dance. I suspect she even knew at the tender age of five that it was going to be a tricky thing for her on a social level, but she fought through it just the same.

She needs to do things at her own speed and in her own way. Which I hope will bode well for her future.

I pray she is the kid that is able to think for herself and not do what the others are doing just because they are doing it. 

I applaud her quiet but genuine personality and wish that for her sake she can stand tough and be the kind of person that you want to be around.

I know I sure do.

Til next time…enjoy your mini chocolate bar hangover

Wiggly teeth and sad things

I feel a little sad today.

The gloomy weather isn't helping, I don't think I could live in England if its overcast and drizzly a lot of the time. That would royally suck…no offense to the queen…

Big C leaves tomorrow for his annual moose hunt. He is usually gone on the Thanksgiving weekend, so in that respect it was nice to have him home for the holiday. But it means 7 or 8 days of just me and the kid and fur kid. 

All will be well. We can handle it of course, it just sucks. I will miss him, Miss K will miss him and even the dog will miss him. And we cannot talk or Skype with him as he is off the grid so to speak.

As of about 9 am Friday morning we will not hear from him for 5 or so days and that plain takes a toll on everyone.

But we'll manage, its a temporary thing. Not like he's going to fight a war in some country, or taking off to climb a mountain and we don't know if he will ever come home.

On a lighter note, but still something that makes me sad is that Miss K has a wiggly tooth.

She was fired up this morning when she came into our bathroom to show us that indeed the bottom tooth was moving back and forth.

I'm excited for her as its a big step toward being a big kid, and she is excited that the tooth fairy may bring her something.

I'm sad though. I remember that tooth coming in. I remember seeing the white beneath the gums of my infant daughter and thinking that it happened too soon. And now a little less than 5 years later, she is looking to lose that first tooth and I'm still thinking its too soon.

She is happy though, and excited about the whole thing, so I will follow that enthusiasm and try not to shed any tears when it does actually come out.

Perhaps she can share some of her enthusiasm with the Blue Jays. They got walloped last night in game four of the best of 7 series. Their backs are against the wall now, and while one should never say never in sports I suspect there may be a whole lot of sad Canadians in the next few days as our only team loses its chance to get in the world series again.

Christmas is about 2 months away and that is a bid sad. 

Other than those things, which in the grand scheme of things are not really all that sad, life is pretty good overall.

Til next time…may the tooth fairy leave good things at your house...

150 minutes of my life wasted…or was it?

Two and one half hours of my life that I will never get back. 2.5 hours that I could have spent doing something else or taking a nap but instead I spent it basically taking up space.

Just one of those things that you do for your kids I guess.

Miss K was invited to another birthday party. She gets at least one a month, usually from kids that I have never even heard of her saying she plays with at school, but whatever, perhaps the parents invite everyone and hence the party invites.

She usually doesn't want to go. She has been to one so far and this was the second that she wanted to attend. But only if I could come too.

OK, not what I want to do on a Sunday afternoon, spend my time at a 5 year old's birthday, not even close to being on the list if you know what I mean. But at the same time I knew where she was coming from. I wouldn't be comfortable going to a strange house, with strange adults that I'd never seen before as a kid either. I seem to remember some pretty awkward feelings as a kid growing up in the same situation.

Thankfully I had met the mom of the girl having the birthday and felt ok asking if I could come along as Miss K felt more comfortable with the scenario.

Part of me wanted to say that no she couldn't go to the party unless she went by herself like the other kids. I wanted to say "You're five, nobody else is going to have their mom there". But I didn't and I wouldn't.

Miss K is a vibrant fun loving kid that will talk your ear off if she is comfortable with the surroundings and who she is with. 

She is still that same kid when the situation is unfamiliar, but it gets withdrawn into a shell of quiet observation when the tables are turned.

So we were off, to spend 150 minutes of tedium on my part, but it was nice to see Miss K relax and enjoy herself a little bit after a while.

I resisted saying too much or encouraging her to participate more but instead chose the role of supportive but mostly mute mom who was there for moral support.

One of those parental moments that you sort of want to hold onto. 

Big C and I were talking the night before about how excited (read not excited) I was to spend most of the afternoon at this party. We wondered how much longer we'd have before she didn't want us around any more. How soon was the day going to come that we'd have to drop her off and not leave the car, not hug her good bye or things like that.

I hated losing the afternoon to watch a bunch of children do crafts, eat and play games.

But I loved seeing Miss K look over from time to time and relief spread across her face seeing that I was there and smiling at her. I loved knowing that she had a great time and if my being there helped that, it was worth not having a power nap or folding laundry or whatever.

She is a great kid and if going to a birthday party or 2 or offering up another hug is what it takes to get her through, I'm all for it. As they say before you know it, it's gone, no more little kid, no more neediness, only independence.

Til next time…when your kid asks for help, I hope you can take the time to give it to them

Thanksgiving and the great marketing machine

Another long weekend has come and gone. A beautiful Thanksgiving weekend in these parts. Sunny, highs near 20 degrees, which at this time of year is a rarity. That's about 68-70 degrees for you folks that use Fahrenheit. 

And the weekend seemed long too. We didn't do too much special but it seemed like a good 3 day break from the everyday. Very nice to have the good weather to go along with it. 

We did a ton of yard work, not nearly enough I'm sure, as we'll still be out in the freezing cold trying so scoop up the last of the leaves and cut the grass one more time. But we're slowly getting stuff put away and cleaned up and ready for winter.

The weekend was not all work either. Big C and the dog got 2 hunting days in so that was exciting for them. Exciting for Miss K and I as well and we were able to sleep in. Not that we couldn't have slept in with them home, its just different somehow…quieter maybe is the word. I dunno, it was nice to sleep past 7 at least once and nearly 7 the other 2 days.

Miss K had her swimming lessons Saturday morning. There were no tears this week, she still cannot get over that she is too big for a parent to go in the pool with her. She feels a little out of her element all by herself I guess, but she's doing ok just the same.

We had a big family dinner on the weekend. My mom's family still gets together over Thanksgiving and Christmas. All the cousins now bring their kids and I'm suspecting in a few years we could even see another generation as the cousin's kids start having kids which is frightening unto its own.

There were about 28 or so of us for supper. A big group, but kind of nice that you could avoid the ones that you don't really want to talk to. One cousin was home that hadn't been in about 3 years so it was nice to see them. Others who shall go nameless, I just try to avoid.

Miss K had fun. She stuck pretty close to Big C and I for the most part but she was reasonably social and well behaved. She was also asleep about 15 minutes into the drive home, but when you play hard you sleep hard too.

Back to the grind for a shorter week which is always nice. Sucky that its the last long weekend before Christmas, but what can you do?

Speaking of Christmas my dislike for the season is increasing. There is Christmas crap in the stores already…already like 2 or 3 weeks ago already. Total bullshit. The marketing machine of corporate greed rolls on. Pretty soon we'll be able to buy Christmas lights with our kids back to school supplies.

It's awful. No wonder people get so stressed during the holidays, this crap has been shoved down your throat for over 2 months about buy this, do that, make this blah, blah blah.

I hate it. I don't hate much in this world but I hate the materialism, marketing and mayhem that goes along with it.

Deep down I quite like Christmas, there is much wonder and peace to be had with the season, but all this other crap I can do without.

I went this morning before work to pick up some solutions to our mouse in the house problem and a few other things and was assaulted by boxes and boxes of Christmas crap awaiting to be displayed in the aisles along with the stuff that was already there.

Not the way I wanted to start my day. Halloween is still 2.5 weeks away and I have to see all of that?

I don't get it, I never will and I will rebel against the Christmas machine. I long for a simpler time. Maybe not so simple that the gifts are handmade, but you get where I'm going…no one really needs a clove ball for their closet anymore do they?

We know Christmas is coming, we will probably decorate, and buy gifts but don't bombard us with gross displays of money grabbing commercialism until at least mid November…

I know its just my two cents…but that is about all I want to spend on Christmas at this time of year.

Til next time be thankful for what you have and enjoy the good weather while it lasts

Almost 4 Hollywood marriages and the need for more grace in our lives

It's nearing the end of September. Our summer like weather is soon ending. I told Miss K this morning that today may be the last day for shorts to school. She was bummed. I can't say as I blame her.

I am not in a position to wear shorts to the day job, however it is almost sublime to be able to come home the end of September and slip into a pair of shorts and walk around barefoot as the temperature is still nice enough to be able to do so.

Fall is nice don't get me wrong but it's not summer.

Tomorrow is anniversary number 8, which in today's society is about 4 Hollywood marriages. This time last year I was not even sure that we'd make 8 years. Things were weird, still are in some ways.

When your husband makes the statement that he is not in love with you anymore…your world turns upside down. A year later, I'm standing on my feet again, but balancing a lot of things and emotions still.

I do have faith we'll make 9 years and probably more. Things are better. There was no fighting or great conflict. I felt and still feel some days that Big C is troubled and though we talk about everything under the sun, this "stuff" is something he can't share with me.

It's troubling. But the footing underneath is more solid and I look at it as we can only go forward, we cannot go back to the past. 

I'm speaking up more. If only to say what I feel. Maybe not as much as I should, but I'm getting it out there a bit more.

It's not that I feel that either of us needs to change. Just that things need to be more out in the open. If I do so, then perhaps he will too.

Oddly it seems like this is another transition time in our lives. Not in an outward sense as we are both secure in our jobs, loving our house, Miss K is rocking the school thing and so on but in a more intangible sense.

I see old friendships changing or fading away and new ones forming. Activities once a regular thing taking the back seat to new experiences and opportunities.

You change, you roll with the punches, you adapt all while trying to keep your values, integrity and be grateful for the chances that you do have.

I think that is a big one for me right now. Gratitude. Or people's lack of it.

So much taken for granted, so much sense of entitlement and it can all be gone in an instant.

It's taking the time to ask someone how they are doing, or remembering an important event in their life.  Doing something for someone to show that you care. (I put completing school lunches and making your husband's lunch in this category only because I hate it so much). 

You don't have to go out of your way or spend a ton of money. Sometimes even the impersonal text message can be helpful when used in the appropriate way.

If someone gives you something or does something for you, say thanks. Please. Just say thank you. If your kid gets a birthday card from some distant relative, let them know it was received. It does not have to be formal or fancy, but tell them their effort was appreciated. 

Don't take anything for granted. If your kid asks for the 1000th time for you to do whatever annoying thing they want to do maybe it's time to do it. 

I sat and did some play-doh with Miss K yesterday for all of about 10 minutes but she was thrilled. I hate going to the park to play, but we go once or twice a month because it means a lot to her.

I say thank you when my husband cooks breakfast or makes me a drink and I mean it. 

As the saying goes; Life is short, play hard. Maybe life cannot be all play, but nourishing those relationships you need/want in your life is important. 

I can't stand that the house doesn't get cleaned on a regular basis, hate that there is more on the to-do list than the has been done list. However, I'm never going to regret a good water fight with my kid, or helping my husband out. 

Sometimes those opportunities get shoved to the side. Or we miss the chance to appreciate what others do for us. Who knows when just saying thanks could make someone's day?

I'm not an eternal optimist, more cynical and sarcastic, but I do believe there is good in the world and that we have to be cognizant of our surroundings and not miss out on the beauty of the world as well as the people in it.

If someone or something is not making your world a better place to be, then perhaps its time to move on to those that do.

Til next time…be gracious in all things you do, you may need some grace in your life when you least expect it

Things that can make you sad

We're past the mid way point of September and that makes me sad.

My barefoot days are coming to an end shortly. The seasons are going to change and I'm going to have to wear socks all the time. It makes me sad. Fall is lovely, but cold feet are not. There are lots of nice days in fall, but usually not warm enough in these parts to walk about barefoot and that is sad.

Big C's birthday is today, but he is not home with us and that is sad. He is with is dad doing some hunting and fishing so I suppose that is a good way to spend your birthday so for that I am grateful.

There is the Syrian refugee crisis and that is sad. I don't really understand all of it, but to want to pack up your family and leave a country locked in permanent unrest is a horrible thought. I feel sad for those people, and am not sad that I live in a country that people would like to come to in times of war/unrest/turmoil. 

It is sad that all of them cannot be helped. You try your best and look out for your fellow human being but in the end how much do you really want to give? You're still going to make sure your family is fed and taken care of and you're never really sure if your money gets to any of them anyway and that is sad.

The little boy in Texas who made a clock and took it into his high school got arrested because the teacher thought it was a bomb. While I understand the need for caution, at the grade 9 level both student and faculty should be capable enough to explain the situation so that no one gets arrested. It makes me sad that our society is so "on edge" that a kid cannot experiment with anything any more.

The argument is there that if a kid makes a toy gun should you not be suspicious that its a real gun? It was a clock people! A clock for goodness sake. I could have made a teddy bear for home economics and put a bomb inside that, but would my teacher be suspicious, no probably not as it was so cute and fluffy. When will common sense prevail again? It make me sad to think this kid will probably never bring anything into school again, nor will his classmates, lest someone think it a bomb.

Closer to home we had an amber alert this week for a missing 2 year old. I had to explain to Miss K what an amber alert was. She thought it was a good idea, but would definitely be scary not to know where your mom and dad were, or to be taken away by someone.

Sadder still the little girl was killed. Her dad killed and her as well. Awful. No 2 year old should be killed because someone had a beef with their dad. How does the mom ever go on with life?

Then there are the other things in the news that make me sad. Like why the Kardashian's even get media coverage? Who cares what sexual orientation Miley Cyrus is? The list goes on and on, but I guess we as a culture fuel this media circus and that is sad in itself.

It's Friday today and that is not sad…so til next time ignore the things in the world that are sad and make someone happy...

Where did summer go?

It has been freaking forever since I did a post here. For-ever with a capital F. WTF? 

I have no idea what has been going on that I've not been posting. I've been reading lots of blogs but not writing in mine.

Maybe a combo of nothing to say and no time to say nothing…if that even makes sense?

Back to school has been accomplished, we're on day 4 and I'm already hating the whole process. Once we get back into the routine it will be fine I'm sure, but I really dislike forms and lunches and putting names in everything. Which by the way I fail miserably at. I never remember when Miss K gets something new that it needs to be labeled. PITA if you ask me, these kids should be smart enough to keep track of their own shit shouldn't they?

Home life is pretty mellow. We're winding down with summer which makes me infinitely sad. But Autumn is OK as a season, just it's not summer…LOL. 

The puppy dog put something through is foot the other weekend. We're not sure what but he did a good job of it. Let's just say we're winding up week 2 of antibiotics and only recently has he got rid of the cone of shame.

He was such a bully with that thing. Once he figured out it made him that much bigger and he could just charge through most anything it was awful. To him it was the cone of "i can go wherever I damn well please and no one can stop me". He's getting better and that is the important part, hopefully his foot has healed enough for hunting season coming up. Big C anxious to have a duck hunting buddy again this year.

So that's our life, not too exciting…just living and taking the days as they're thrown at us…and somedays they are hurled at you at dizzying speeds but you bounce, tuck and roll with it and come out on the other side

Til next time…hope back to school is going well for everyone

Standing up for your right to be selfish as a parent

There is something that has been bugging me for a long time now. I'm not even sure if I will end up posting this, but perhaps there are others of you in the same situation and will feel my frustration.

I work full time. My husband works full time. I need to have a job to keep my sanity. I could argue that we don't need two pay cheques to make a go of things in this world, but it makes things easier. We have all medical expenses such as prescriptions, dentist and eye wear covered. We both have pension plans so that we have a nest egg come retirement time. Two incomes lets us put away some money for our kid's education down the road should she choose to go that route. And did I mention needing something to do with my day?

It's a choice not everyone can make or wants to make or whatever. When I had Miss K there was never a question that I would stay home with her forever, I was going back to work. I like my job, like the people I work with and feel overall that it makes our family better having that extra income as well as a mom that isn't going stir crazy being home all day.

Big C is the same, I know he likes to work and likes the extra's it affords us.

But there are drawbacks. It does mean our time with Miss K is limited. Now that she is a full time school kid, we aren't missing as much, but I figure we are with her just about 20 waking hours for Monday through Friday. That works out to about 1 hour in the morning and about 3 in the evening.

I miss her. Do I wish I could spend more time with her? Yes and no. With it being summer there are days that I wish we could just hang in our pi's and kick back for the morning and then see what the day brings, but I've chosen to work for my living and I am ok with that.

It gives me some adult interaction and a chance to make a contribution to the world doing something I enjoy. It gives her a chance to interact with other kids and gain some independence from us too. We have a great sitter and to be perfectly honest its like taking her to her second home.

Our weekends are enjoyed because we can all spend time together, even the dog. It perhaps sounds selfish, but we don't like to visit or plan a lot of get togethers because we enjoy one another's company. 

And this is where the problem begins.

There is one member of the extended family that complains about this…a LOT.

I won't name names, but lets just say that they are not part of the group that lives a long ways away from us.

I suspect some of it stems from friends of theirs that spend lots of time with their offspring and grandkids. A "competition" of sorts to see who did the coolest thing with their grandson or granddaughter.

It's not that we limit visits or shun them. They are always welcome to stop by and see Miss K, and have been since day one. There is no animosity or hidden family rift, just a lot of complaining that they don't get to see or do whatever with Miss K enough.

I note, that they are the only ones to whine about this.

Why can't we do this, we'd like to do that, when can we have her over. Don't you guys want to go out?

It's frustrating, because I do see their point. It would be nice to have us over for dinner, nice to take Miss K places, nice to do a lot of things, but they don't seem grateful for what they do get to do. it's wanting to do more because everyone else is.

I know that isn't the only reason, but I'm quite sure everyone else in our lives would like to do these things with Miss K as well as ourselves. 

They act like they are being left out of everything, but they get the same invitations as everyone else. And no they are not our preferred sitters of choice when we do go out. For one, they cannot take our dog, and sometimes he needs to go somewhere too. They have a tendency to ignore us when we ask them to stop doing something with Miss K or the dog. Not abiding rules of the house is a sure way to fall out of favour with us quickly.

Even when we do come over it is the off hand comments of having something months ago but we didn't come and visit so we never got to use it. Or expecting that things are going to play out a certain way, forgetting that they're dealing with a kid and it life unfolds by the minute and you better be prepared for the next one because it may be completely different than the one preceding it

But in all honesty, we don't pawn Miss K off too much. Should we do so more often? Perhaps.

But we like our time. I know this is our only kid that we're going to have, for sure for sure. I'm no spring chicken and neither is Big C, so time spent with Miss K is precious.

I'm going to say straight out, I'm going to be selfish and take all the time I can with this kid, and sorry to everyone else, but that is the way its going to be.

Too soon, she's going to not want to be with us and spend time with her friends. Or have other interests/hobbies that cuts into our time and I see and realize that.

There are people out there that will say that these people deserve time with her too, and I agree, but just realize that you are most likely going to have to share it with us too.

Don't force your agenda on me and my family. I'm standing up for it. I want to spend time with my kid, I'm sorry that you feel left out, but for once in my life I'm putting myself and my needs first and this is what I want for me.

No, we are not going to be an over at the in-laws every week for supper or take big family vacations kind of people. It's not going to happen and wishing it will be so isn't going to make it true. And complaining and whining about it certainly isn't going to help your case.

Be grateful for the opportunity's that you do have and stop harassing us for things you think you should have.

On a lighter note, Big C and I do have a bit of time this weekend to ourselves, hopefully get in some golf and some R&R without the presence of the chatty one

Til next time…stand up for what you believe is right for your family, don't be bullied into what someone else thinks is the status quo...

You are not entitled to everything you want

Today we talk about entitlement. 

Specifically that there seems to be a huge sense of it with some youth these days. They expect way too much and have no sense of gratitude for what they do have.

It isn't all kids, I want to state that up front, there are some truly good kids and twenty somethings that have their head on straight and realize that good jobs don't grow on trees and all 8 year olds do not need the latest iPhone.

And, I hope that we can raise Miss K to be one of these kids. I have a good full time job and so does Big C, we make more than most as far as annual income goes. I won't deny that we have more means to do stuff or buy whatever than many, but that does not mean that I won't instil a sense of hard work and integrity in my kid. Life is not going to be handed to you on silver platter and you are not going to win at everything.

We have a young lad at work, lets call him John for sake of giving him a name. He is doing very well in the job that he is in. I don't work directly with him, but deal with him or have contact with him on a daily basis. He grasped the concepts of the job and has added some responsibilities not usually associated with the position. He's pleasant to deal with and is generally well liked.

All good right? Not so much. John pisses us off because he does do a good job, but has an awful work ethic. He shows up late, takes tons of vacation or unpaid time off, calls in sick on a regular basis, so much so that he cannot be counted on to be present for an entire week at a time.

John doesn't seem to care either. He wants to get a place of his own but feels he needs to make more money to do so. Not equating anywhere in there that you need to work a full week and show that you do a good job and can be reliable to making more moolah.

It's sad, because he's going to lose his job and not have any clue that he did anything wrong. He feels he's entitled to more because it's what he wants, not necessarily a fact of life, but if he wants it he's entitled to it.

I won't discourage positive thought, but its like wanting to win a million dollars and not buying a ticket. You can win unless you play. You are not going to get further ahead in your job, if you don't show up everyday and show you are able to take on the responsibility of working a full week without buggering off to do something with your friends.

And don't even get me started on kids who have iPhones and tablets and other things coming out the wazoo because they will "just die" if they don't have one. Cut the crap jack, you're not going to die. 

You will die if you don't have food, water, a decent roof over your head, clothing etc…life is not going to end if you can't tweet/text/instagram your friends or whatever the cool thing is to do these days.

So many kids get gifts for their birthdays and can't even bother with a thank you. They just take the cash or gift for granted and move on. 

I'm pretty old fashioned when it comes to that stuff. You are not entitled to a gift for your birthday, if someone chooses to bring one or send one, then you should be grateful for the action, and say so.

I was very encouraged by Miss K this past birthday, or should I say after her birthday. My aunt had taken a fair number of pictures of Miss K at her party. She printed them and assembled them in an album and mailed it to us. Miss K was thrilled at getting mail and said shortly after opening that we must call and say thanks.

Good for you kiddo, I would have done so anyway for myself as I enjoyed the pictures too, but I was encouraged that maybe she's got some sense of gratitude not found in most 5 year olds.

We called straight away, we could only leave a message, but Miss K did the majority of the talking herself and that was enough for me. Too many times people do things that my aunt did and it seems like it falls on deaf ears. You never know if the gift was received or if the person liked it or anything.

I still send thank you notes from time to time. I may soon resort to thank you emails as the cost of a postage stamp has gotten beyond stupid, but I digress. It's the effort to say thanks, its the effort to work for what you have, it's not thinking that you are entitled to everything just because you think it should be so.

I hope that I can teach all that to my kid. Yes, we have the means to buy her most things that she could want, but wanting and necessity are two different animals. Yes, you should feel that you can achieve or do anything, but you must realize that you are not going to get a trophy every time you play a game or do a good deed. 

Hard work is just that, hard. If you don't work hard at anything you never get to see what the rewards are. Be grateful and show that gratitude, and parents make sure your kids actually say thanks for a gift or help or whatever. Show them that stuff they want doesn't just show up in their room because they say they want it.

Guide your youngsters to be self sufficient, to realize that they may have it better than most, the value of integrity and doing a good job and maybe we'll escape the cycle of entitled youngsters that feel the world owes them something instead of the other way around.

Til next time…pay it forward and give thanks