Teach your kid not to be an A$$hole

It's feeling hot, hot, hot out these days. We've got a taste of summer in late spring. I love it, a bit humid but I'm not going to complain, just over 2 weeks ago there were flurries in the air. So sweaty is better than snow!

We spent most of the weekend in the hospital, well, I guess we were not in the hospital, but we were staying close enough to the hospital to go and see Big C's dad. 

He is doing much better now after his surgery. They moved him to the rehab ward late last week, but then told him he couldn't do anything because he hadn't been properly assessed. WTF? They want him up and going and strengthening everything, but now they are not going to let him move. He hadn't been assessed they said. I call B.S., everyone covering their collective ass so that no one gets in trouble. 

But the politics of healthcare are not a subject I even want to get into. Big C raised a bit of a stink on Saturday morning and at least his dad got a walker so he could get himself to the bathroom and get up to eat his meals and things so that was good. But I ask why you would move him to a rehab facility and then not offer any sort of rehab for almost 3 days, stupid system if you ask me.

Aside from that it was a good visit. Miss K enjoyed taking care of her poppa and generally found the hospital experience fascinating. We did some swimming at the hotel, some shopping for the hospital bound and kind of got away from it all while not really getting away from it all at the same time.

I did spot some stellar parenting while away as well. And by stellar, I mean not at all exemplary.

I've ranted before about the negligence and disregard a lot of people have for their kids and their behaviour but I've got 2 excellent examples of "why have kids if you aren't going to pay attention to them?"

The first was kind of a passive disregard. We were at the pool, and there was a lady dozing in a chair poolside. I give her credit for snoozing as the noise in the pool area was deafening. I thought nothing of it until I noticed a boy in the pool that could only be her son. He was not a great swimmer, but adequate and in all likelihood tall enough to touch bottom every where in the pool but would you not think you should keep an eye on them?

He did have a guardian over 16 years of age at the pool, but I guess the rules did not state they needed to stay awake. Very odd in my books.

The second annoyance was a larger group of children, I'm assuming 2 or 3 families staying together, were playing at the pool and by playing I mean being general idiots.

Every pool rule was pretty much broken by them and the general lack of consideration by the kids was a direct result of the lack of interest from the parental figures present. 

From what I could tell, the mom's were by the pool area sitting on lounge chairs and the dad's were outside, chatting and smoking with each other.

Again the parental figure of someone over 16 years of age was there, but there was not one of them really paying any attention to the kids.

We had kids playing in the shower that is supposed to be for all guests, spraying one another and basically using it as a splash pad. Two others were playing with a football that was disintegrating and causing all sorts of floating scum in the pool itself. The whole bunch of them were running, trying to throw one another in the pool and jumping into water that was at most 4 feet deep, in some instances only 3 feet deep.

The first couple things are basically just allowing your kids to be douche bags. And for that I'm sorry for society that you're letting them grow up that way. The latter is a safety issue. Any 4 year old who takes swimming lessons can tell you, no running by the pool, no horseplay, no jumping into water that is not a safe depth and so on.

But, my conclusion is some parents don't care. They don't care if their kid is an asshole, they don't care if they're doing something most would consider unsafe or inappropriate behaviour. They don't care enough to even get in the pool with the kid and show them what would be acceptable actions in a public situation.

I will say the kids were not total assholes, but their disregard of all the other patrons in the pool, told me their parents sure as hell didn't give a shit either.

There were 2 threats issued by one dad and one mom when the play got particularly boisterous, but they were largely ignored. The moms went back to chatting and drinking and the dads went back to being outside and smoking.

I just don't get it. Being an impolite moron as a kid is one thing, you don't have much of a chance if your parents teach you nothing. But being a negligent parent is another. I guess they don't care if their kid gets hurt or hurts someone else, its better to just sit back and let things happen.

At least none of the kids was stupid enough to be going in head first to the relatively shallow pool, but how long before one of the wrestling matches beside the pool dumped someone in the pool in the wrong way?

Thankfully it didn't happen, but it bothers the hell out of me. I'm not a perfect parent, I probably yell at my kid and lose my patience way too often. But I do teach her to be kind, considerate, follow the rules and most of all not be a douche bag.

Maybe its that sense of entitlement again. The kids think they're entitled to do whatever the hell they want and the parents think they can sit back and have adult time without having to take responsibility for their kids or teaching their kids appropriate behaviour.

But what do I know? 

Until next time…please teach your kids not to be assholes

Kick some darkness

Spring is here for sure. And with less than a month until summer begins its starting to feel like it. Its hard to believe I'm contemplating putting the air conditioning on when we had snow just a scant 10 days ago, but such is reality.

Reality is, life is hard some times. All in all we're healthy and things are not at tragic proportions so we do count our blessings but the little things do start to add up.

The renovations are done in the previously flooded basement, so that is exciting, but now we've got to find all the replacement stuff for what we lost, so finding time to shop when the weather is good will be tough.

Big C was away all of last week for work, then had to pick up his dad from the airport as he was coming into the area for surgery. The surgery went well but his recovery has been less than smooth and its putting a strain on the whole household.

Miss K wonders why her dad isn't home most days, or why he has to go back to the hospital at a moments notice. She misses him terribly, and at times we cannot even Skype so she misses the connection even more.

Big C is tired of being away from home. He said he's been 50 nights in one particular hotel chain already this year. That does not count about half a dozen nights spent in other hotels. Right now he's spent a third of the year away from home by my estimation.

He is stressed about his dad, stressed about not being home, misses us all terribly but yet feels he needs to be with his dad. He's tired of sitting in the hospital, tired of travelling, tired of eating crappy meals at crappy times.

His dad is a stubborn patient and is making things difficult for Big C at times. Big C wants him to keep a positive attitude and see the bright side to everything, but is sometimes talking to an unwilling listener.

I'm holding down the fort at home, trying to get all the stuff done that needs to be and maybe just maybe squeaking in something I want to do from time to time. I'm managing, but sleep deprived and just plain tired of it all and longing for some normal days in the future.

As I've said in other posts I've got the utmost respect for those who parent/work/and manage household tasks all on their own all the time. It can really, really drag you down. 

I know at some point in time that my other half will return and there will be someone else to load the dishwasher or clean my kids ears or take the dog for a walk or cut the grass. But can you imagine if that person never was there? If you had to do it all day in and day out for the rest of your life? I might just go stark raving bonkers.

On top of all that fun stuff, we've got a dog that is confused as hell as to who is going to be home and when. My car decided that the rear brakes were going to not co-operate with me having a good week and generate a 800 dollar repair bill. We have persistent birds who wish to build nests where we do not want them and so on...

We have a vacation coming in 3 weeks that we're trying to book hotels for as we so desperately need to get away.

Like I said first world problems as we could have it so much worse, but how long before someone says something hurtful, how long before Miss K causes me to lose my shit over something minor? You just don't know and you deal with it as best you can.

We don't take much for granted these days, every hug, every hello or goodbye, every I love you has so much more meaning. 

To paraphrase the Barenaked Ladies, (or Bruce Cockburn if you remember that version) "nothing worth having comes without some sort of fight, you gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight"

We're fighting, we know all this crazy stuff will come to an end. We are just not sure when. We want to train the dog some more, we'd like to get out golfing, we want to go boating, we have an endless list of things to do around the house, but at times life gets in the way.

And on some level, we say, let life get in the way…it means you are still alive and kicking. We're healthy for the most part, the bills are getting paid and we are safe and happy in our home, really what more could you ask for?

I would say an extra 8 hours sleep if I could have one wish, but aside from all our woes we are going to make it. They are temporary and we'll come out on the other side stronger and better than ever, maybe more tired, but we'll get there

Til next time…kick some darkness out of your life

All by herself

I think spring may be here now.

I spent most of the weekend without socks on, so that is a good sign. I did hear flurries in the forecast for the first part of next week, but I'm blocking that from my brain and refuse to process it right now.

The weekend rocked actually. It was shorts wearing temperatures. I did not wear shorts but most of the family did. The dog was  not overly impressed as he spent most of the time just wandering around panting as it was pretty toasty for April but I loved it.

We got some yard work done, had some social time as Big C's dad was visiting and basically put in a nice weekend. A welcome to spring weekend, a little work, a little play and a good time had by all.

Miss K had her bird friend home on the weekend to capture in a bunch of activities. Sam came home to see how things were at our house. Sam is not a real bird but a stuffed, looks a whole lot like the toucan from Fruit Loops fellow that stays with each SK kid for a week.

I believe it is the teachers way of capturing the kids in a scrapbook for her to keep and remember her students in the future. A fun way for the kids to do a little show and tell about what goes on in their lives outside school too.

Miss K was thrilled at the idea. And to her credit took on most of the project herself. Of course she needed someone to take the pictures with her and Sam in it. But she did come up with most of the ideas of where and what to do with Sam and we were relegated to the sidelines just a little bit. This gives me hope of future projects to come in school.

I printed out what pics we took and she took charge of arranging and placing them in the scrapbook. She taped the 4 corners with colourful tape and only needed help when some of it was not sticking well and we had to replace with another kind.

Last night she figured we should start work on the sentences describing what they were doing in each picture. She figured that since she could already spell Sam, that she could at least start them on her own.

She did great for a kid who is not yet 6, she asked about words she could not spell and I think I wrote on 3 of the pictures because she couldn't think of anything to write. So much better than doing it all for her. 

I could have made that scrapbook totally rock, I have the skills and tools to do it, but I didn't. I had the ability to print out pictures and I did, but the rest was up to her. Big C helped to replace the tape that wasn't sticking, and the rest was all her.

I could not have been prouder. Yup, she needed a bit of help, and with that I am always willing, but I did not straighten one picture, or correct one letter of what she wrote, it was her project and she did it.

Even better she has it done a full day before it needs to go back to school. Tonight we will not be rushing around trying to complete something in a hurry. Its done and ready to return, pressure off, whoohoo!

May all future projects go like this…I know, I know, wishful thinking…

Busy times coming up, date weekend for Big C and I in 3 days, retriever trials the following 2 weekends, fancy work dinner for me the weekend after that and then we're to the first long weekend of the summer season…May 2-4. Wow…this summer is going to fly…

Til next time, hope it is spring like where you are too

When it rains, it pours

The saying is when it rains it pours. Well, last week when it rained it poured into our basement. Some April Fool's prank.

I'm guessing the air was pretty blue when Big C stepped into the 3 or 4 inches of water that was there on Friday morning. He was still pretty livid when I came back home after an appointment. He was mad because I didn't answer my cell phone, which I'd left in the car because of said appointment. 

Not sure why he was mad that I didn't pick up, it's not like there was anything I could have done anyway. The water was already there.

I bought new rubber boots a few weeks ago, I had no idea I would be wearing them in the house, in the basement, in water over my ankles.

Of course it was in the finished part of the basement. We have an old house, the original part is likely pushing 100 years. But some time ago, maybe 20 years, they added a new section to give more square footage to the place and the new basement is what flooded. It's also the part with carpet and laminate floor, or should I say was the place with carpet and laminate floor because that is not there any more.

Oh what a mess. But it could have been worse. We really didn't lose all that much, had we flooded the older basement it could have meant fridges, freezers, sporting equipment, hunting stuff and so on, so a few bits of older furniture ain't so bad.

It was not a cool April Fool's joke though. The sump pump never even came on thought the plumber. By the time he got to our place it was nearly 8 pm.(I guess there were many, many insurance claims that day), but we got a brand new much more reliable one now, and a battery back up coming this week as I don't really want to experience this again.

The house I grew up in always leaked when it rained, we'd even have an inch of water now and again in one of the low spots, but we knew it happened and nothing of value was ever down there. But this was something else again. I cannot imagine what its like to have that sort of flooding on your main level, like what happens in the south when they have hurricanes and such.

Crazy stuff. We had snow over the weekend too. Enough to put the plow back on the 4 wheeler. Enough with the April fools tricks already, we've had enough.

The basement is still drying out, they had to cut out drywall and let the outside walls dry too as it was still pretty damp down there after having the fans and dehumidifier going for 4 days. 

I still cannot believe it. I guess that is what you get when you put in cheap stuff, expect it to fail. The old owner of the house never spent much money on things and you can tell. Thankfully insurance will fix this one for us and get us back to the way it was.

I've had eggs a couple times this week and gotten a double yolk each time. I hope that means good luck is coming back our way…anything I've read says something about fertility… that would be scary wouldn't it??

Til next time…stay dry in all these April showers

Things that go Trump in the night

I can honestly say I have very little interest in politics. I'm not saying I dislike the democratic process, I just really do not have any interest who is running for mayor, school board, premier, president, prime minister or whatever.

I do think my vote counts and I do make every attempt to be part of the democratic process. At times I even take interest in the issues at hand, but I really don't care over all. Is any one leader going to be better than another? Maybe, maybe not. Are they really going to carry through on what they promise? Maybe, maybe not.

Perhaps its skepticism on my part about how much one government can really do over the course of a term that leads me to this apathy, I really don't know. But I just don't really care or have any interest in following campaigns or platforms or running races or whatever you want to call it.

In all honesty, I usually pick a candidate on the likelihood that I would like to sit down and have a beer with them. Are their values parallel to mine, would they be able to talk about normal things like family and recreation and have a few laughs or would they always be "political"?

Right now we have a prime minister that I think I could possibly kick back on a Saturday afternoon and have something to talk about for a few hours over some munchies and beverages. Same goes for Obama in the USA. He seems like a pretty down to earth guy that would be interesting to hang out with. I'm not sure how much we have in common, but he seems like a person I would pick chat with if I had the chance.

There have been others over time that would have been interesting to hang with right from the local or club level on through to leaders of nations.

Where am I going with this? All eyes are on the USA right now and the race for nominations in the republican party, with a certain billion dollar mogul reality tv personality leading the way.

Scary stuff.

As a Canadian I always hate the US just a little bit, they're the bigger, stronger, more powerful neighbour that you just cannot match in so many ways so you resent them a little bit.

I've always said that there are a lot of Americans who are ignorant purely because they are American. They don't think they need to know anything about anyone else and are entitled to do what they want  and think the way they do because they are American.

I'm not saying everyone that resides in the US is this way, in fact it is probably a minority, but just as in elementary school there are a few bad apples that give the whole class a bad name.

American's get a bad rap in a lot of countries for this attitude of "my shit don't stink and there is nothing you can do about it"

They're going to be walking a fine line if a certain fellow named Trump gets the Republican nod for president.

He is exactly the pompous (and I don't mean his hair), arrogant, misogynistic asshole personality that everyone hates.

He is trying to preserve America he says. 

I haven't seen him speak, I haven't heard his message first hand, I know I shouldn't judge without "the seeing is believing" aspect. But how can anyone get behind this man?

The fear mongering and verbal assaults of anyone and everything should be a turn off for any reasonable person.

I just don't understand it. Are there Americans that are really that naive or dumb to think this man is the saving grace for the good old US of A. Dear Lord I hope not.

Being a neighbouring nation to the States I liken it to your neighbour having a tank or cannon in their back yard. They say you will be safe but who's to say when that weapon might get aimed your way and take you and your family out without warning.

I think Canada and Mexico feel this way, what is our neighbour going to be like if this guy gets into power. Should we just build a wall and keep the whole damn lot of them out at all times?

It's a weird scenario, one I hope never happens here. Politicians are not usually well liked, but there hasn't been one in a long time that I've disliked as much as this one. I definitely don't want to sit down and have beer and wings with him

All I can say is Go Hillary…:-)

Proud parenting moments

If you have read things here before you know that we've had our battles with Miss K and her swimming lessons. She loves the water and likes to be in the pool but is perplexed sometimes as to why she should need to take swimming lessons.

She uses the argument that when we're in the boat she's wearing a life jacket so that will keep her afloat. There is always the plea that she does not like or does not want to go to swimming lessons.

Our response is suck it up buttercup, you're going. We will not make you take a dance/karate/golf/ski/violin/chess/basket weaving lesson in your entire life. We will make you take swimming lessons.

It's a life skill and when you are around water as much as we are, absolutely 100% necessary. It's no wonder they've decided that "swim to survive" programs are a good thing in elementary school. You need to know what to do when faced with deep water.

I think we had a break through this weekend though. It was the final day of Miss K's swim class and she actually tried to do all the things the teacher asked by herself, which involved some very basic skills but she had to have her head/face in the water all the time and she did it.

She did not pass the level as there were about 3 things on the list that she had not done well enough to be moved on but she really really tried.

I was so proud of her, so was Big C and most important she was proud of herself.

We bought her goggles this session as she said the water bothered her eyes. With such a healthy dose of chlorine usually in the pool I could see her point. But we hoped it would boost her confidence to get her noggin in the water the way she needed to.

It took a bit but I think it might have been a stepping stone to what we saw this weekend.

She wasn't even too bummed that she didn't pass. She was impressed that she did so many things by herself and knew that she did better that day than most of the other days combined.

So much so we had to go swimming again on Sunday at the family swim. I would have much preferred to stay home and have a nap or do other things, but she was keen and wanted us all to go. She was fantastic. Instead of being whiny and negative when we wanted her to try things she threw herself into it wholeheartedly and did the best she could each and every time. 

I was frozen and had to go pee after about 5 minutes in the pool, but she was having so much fun and really doing well it was heartwarming to see, even if my teeth were chattering.

She has a long way to go before she can swim independently, but I think we just crossed the first big hurdle and from here on in, perhaps going to swimming lessons will be less " I don't want to go" and more "I wonder what I will be able to do this week"

Miss K is always a little anxious over new things and situations, but her confidence is building and it is such a treat to see. 

Til next time…I hope someone in your life can get over something that makes them anxious

Try teaching respect, courtesy and manners as a parent

When will people start taking responsibility for their own shit. And by shit I mostly mean their kids.

I've written before about integrity and taking ownership of what you do and being a grown up when you are over the age of 18 or so. But I'm talking about sucking it up and actually being a parent and being responsible for your kid and their actions.

What I'm seeing lately is a blatant negligence in the parenting department.

I don't mean the providing of basic needs like food, clothing and shelter, or even love and compassion. I am talking about the guidance and leading by example that seems so lacking in parents these days.

Lets take a couple of recent examples.

The first involved what I assume was a grandparent, but they're a parent to someone so we'll stretch the example a bit on the first one.

We went bowling on a Saturday afternoon at a large bowling centre and just about every lane was packed. We were sandwiched in between two large party groups. On one side a hockey team made of 11 and 12 year old boys. On the other a big group of 4 and 5 year olds for a birthday party.

Which do you think was the group that most made me question the parenting skills being displayed in today's society?

Not the group of pre-teen boys thats for sure.

We had a couple of youngsters from the latter group that continually walked into our lane, were over in our seats, were at our ball rack etc…

This is fine if we were done or were not bowling, but we were at the time. Having little folks running behind you or in front of you while bowling is a safety hazard not only for them but for us as well.

Miss K is slight in build and could have easily tripped over one of these little people had they got in her way. Big C or myself could very easily have hurt one of them had we stepped on them.

We told the children in question that they should look out or get back over with their own group a couple of times. They seemed to give the blank stare of "why are you talking to me" but usually complied.

I will note at this time that there was a number of parents and grandparents sitting back from the lanes that were supposedly supervising these children that made no effort to keep them in check.

By the 4th or 5th time that one of these little people made their way over into our space and Big C more loudly told them to back off, one of the "adults" overheard and took exception.

"Well, he's only 4, he doesn't know any better". To which my husband retorted, that our daughter is only 5 and we've taught her better.

I think the grandma summed it up. He doesn't know any better because all the adults are sitting on their ass oblivious to what their kids are doing and have provided no guidance as to what would be acceptable behaviour in a situation such as this.

I have no objections to kids having fun or being excited in a situation new to them like bowling. However when there a handful of adults just sitting idly by and not one of them is making an effort to corral or suggest to the offending parties what might be acceptable behaviour I call bullshit.

Get off your ass and teach your kids some decency, at the age of 3 and 4 they should be able to comprehend that they need to stay out of other peoples way. Not tough to do people, courtesy goes a long way.

I can guarantee that grandma would have been the first to be in our face if her precious little rugrat had been stepped on by Big C while he was bowling, but god forbid you keep the kid out of the way in the first place.

Case number two happened just this past weekend.

Big C was out at the barn and I had just let the dog out as it was a mild day and he wanted to survey the world of our backyard as he so often does.

About 5 minutes later I was talking to Miss K in the living room when I heard barking. It didn't sound like our dog, he usually lets out just one single bark at a time and this was successive barks.

I chalked it up to being the neighbours dog and carried on talking to Miss K. But the barking sounded weird and seemed to be coming from the opposite side of the house than our neighbours.

Our dog was indeed on that side of the house, but did not appear to be barking. Hmmm, this is odd I thought so I went to investigate.

I looked out our back french doors to see our dog at the end of his rope looking at something in the yard of the church beside us.

Aha, I'd found the source of the barking. Two young lads standing at the edge of our property (there is a small creek that separates us) and they were barking at our dog trying to get him to bark back.

The poor dog was just standing there wondering what on earth they were doing.

In retrospect I wish I'd grabbed the video camera before I slipped out onto the deck and told the little buggers to "knock it off".

Judging by the .35 seconds it took for them to turn tail and run away I knew that they knew their actions were in the wrong, but why were they there in the first place?

There are kids as young as 5 or 6 playing in that creek after church lets out and not a parent to be found. Granted these kids were older, but it's February, why are your kids playing in or near a creek anyway?

I would be willing to bet the parents have no idea what their kids are up to or even specifically where they are. They're inside socializing or working or doing whatever with not a notion what their kid is up to.

Still other people tell me of children in a group setting that have fallen and are crying and not one parent or caregiver responsible for that child is nearby. They instead leave it up to whomever to assist their child in a time of need.

Others mention children under the age of 4 left in a home while the parents are outside or otherwise occupied or worse yet sleeping and no one paying attention to them.

I don't suggest for one minute that you hover over your child 24/7, I'm not a helicopter parent and never intend to be. Miss K doesn't usually like to be left alone, but we encourage her to stretch her boundaries and be a bit less clingy. I don't want to smother or let her have free reign, a nice happy medium would suffice.

But I sure as hell know where my kid is or have a pretty good idea 99.9% of the time. And I'm sure most parents can distinguish their kids cry from all others so why not respond when you hear them?

I'm asking that you "parent" your child. Offer them guidance and suggestions on appropriate behaviour. Distinguish what boundaries are appropriate for their age and abilities. Be a role model not a "oh someone else will take care of it" person.

Grow a set and take on responsibility for your kids actions and behaviour. If they don't learn it from you who the hell are they supposed to learn it from. Set a good example and maybe the kids will follow suit.

I know there are kids out there who will rebel no matter what you try to do or say. And I understand there are special and extenuating circumstances in a lot of cases. Those are not the people I'm trying to speak to.

I'm reaching out to the parents and caregivers of the children that I speak to like a parent and they give me the look of "why are you talking to me that way?"

I'm not a hard ass. I do however expect respect, manners and courtesy from everyone including children and I see many who are not taught or shown any of these things.

Its a sad day, when people want teachers, coaches and just about anyone but them to "parent" their children.

Til next time…teach your kid to hold a door for someone else, it might go a long way

Here's to hand sanitizer and naps

It was too good to last. I should have been knocking on wood or not changing my underwear for days or whatever else people do for good luck.

Our house has been like the plague hit it the last few weeks.

First Miss K went down. It was sudden, a Thursday night she complained of a sore throat and feeling warm but cold on the inside.

I should have known something was up that morning when she complained of being achy all over. But I passed both warning signs off as being symptoms of a sniffly nose she'd been fighting off for a while.

Nope. Thursday night/Friday morning the fever raged and the sore throat turned into something where it felt like you were swallowing gravel or glass. Not Miss K's words, but I can just imagine from the groaning at her end.

That turned into a 3 day battle with the fever, some antibiotics for strep throat and a whole lot of time on the couch for the poor little fart. 

It went along well as she rebounded and got back to school, but the following Thursday Big C got hit. He had a weird eye infection that probably was a 42nd cousin of whatever virus struck Miss K and then later he got some sort of sinusitis or chest infection to go along with it. 

He spent most of a week either in bed, working from home or on the couch too.

Super fun let me tell you. Just get done worrying about one and the other one goes down.

Thankfully myself and the dog just carried on, no sniffles no aches and pains, just went about our day as if there was not a sea of used tissues and a pharmacy sitting on our kitchen counter.

We thought it was going well. Miss K seemed to be increasing again in sniffles and coughing, but nothing extraordinary going on other than a cold. Tis the season so no cause for concern.

But Friday there was a call from the sitter not 30 minutes after I dropped Miss K off. 

"She's complaining her ear hurts and her temperature is up a bit, what do you want to do?"

Not 45 minutes earlier her temp was low if anything and no mention of a sore ear. Hmmm, Miss K would not want to miss school…so she wouldn't be faking…and she doesn't usually complain about her ears unless they do really hurt.

OK, she was going to stay at the sitters, she already had one of her own home sick, so what was one more kid on the couch?

Miss K made it through the day pretty well. However, she did start falling asleep on the couch about 6:30 pm. We got her into bed about 7:20 pm and she slept (abet fitfully sometimes) until almost 9 am Saturday. 

No fever when she awoke so we figured we were good…nope, she fell back to sleep within 45 minutes and proceeded to have another nap in the afternoon as well.

If she was 10 years older you would have thought she was struck with mono or something.

She slept a lot over the weekend and the ear improved, so I'm hoping we're by this one now too.

I've been keeping the mom shield intact. I do long to kiss my husband on the lips but we fear the spread of the bubonic plague might hit so we'll refrain a bit further.

I hit the wall last week. Too much sleep deprivation and sick people and I was ready to toss in the towel. I just couldn't do it anymore. Your mom ears hear everything at night, wheezing, coughing, snoring etc…

One night I was in the spare bedroom because I couldn't not bear another minute of restricted nasal passage snoring from Big C and I almost started laughing.

I could not decide who was snoring more loudly, Miss K or Big C, it was like a chorus of nasal restriction, and in the dog and they would have been a killer trio.

I passed the point of not knowing whether to laugh, cry or just run away. It wears you down over time.

And I'm no Florence Nightingale, I will not win any awards for my bedside manner or my nurturing ways of bringing people back to health. I will get you what you need, offer some sympathy, but I'm not going to sit by your bedside and dote over you for the course of your illness. Not my style and it won't ever be.

Not to say I don't worry or think about the ill party and in the case of Miss K I will spend more than my fair share of snuggle time or sleep in your bed so you feel comforted. And I do try to be somewhat motherly to Big C, but I'm his wife not his mother and he is an adult, so get over it…LOL

I'm not sure what has kept me from being sick. I did feel for a time that my hands could fall off due to being washed so much, but other than that, the mom powers have persevered and I'm still relatively healthy. Odd for someone who takes immunosuppressants every day, but hey, I'm not going to complain.

I feel we're on our way back to healthier times. Cold and flu season should soon be done with spring on the horizon. March Break should help with Miss K not being exposed to the germ pool of school.

At least it wasn't gastrointestinal stuff ripping through the house (no pun intended), and for that I'm very grateful.

To those battling through colds/flu/and other ailments, I urge you to keep going, the end of snoggy tissues is in sight…hopefully

Til next time…here's to hand sanitizer and lots of naps

Being involved with each other

One month ago it was Christmas day, which means we are nearing the end of January already. I'm pretty sure it was just a few days ago that we were having mimosa's to usher in the new year and in another week it will be February.

It's pretty mild for the end of January too. In the positives today and some other points during the week. Rain tomorrow, which at this stage I really do wish was snow. I'm not one for the cold, but I do miss the snow. We're never going to be able to teach Miss K to ski if we never have any snow.

Speaking of snow, there was just a big Nor'Easter that blew up the Atlantic Coast of the good ol US of A. Some record snowfall amounts for sure in those parts, but as one comment said, if you are from certain parts of Canada, you just call it "Tuesday". It's only news when its something that doesn't happen in those parts very often. You just don't see huge weather head lines when Northern Ontario gets hit with 45 cm of snow. New York City yes, Timmins not so much.

Our lives have been quiet for the most part. Big C travelling a lot lately and in the next bit for work which kind of sucks, but we do have our weekends and they've been super lately.

I'm not even sure what makes them so super. We haven't done much exciting, and I don't seem to be any more caught up on housework than I usually am, but they've been good. Relaxing, enjoyable and fun, the way a weekend should be for everyone.

Perhaps its because the rush before Christmas is gone. Evenings are not filled with wrapping presents, or baking, shopping, decorating, and doing all the other things you feel you need to do. When lunches are made and dishes done, you can go and sit down and read a book or veg in front of the TV for an hour and not feel like you should be doing something else. There isn't 100 weekend commitments and the need to attend at least 95 of them.

I'm not sure. Maybe its good quality family time that is doing it? Maybe I'm just more relaxed or organized or both. 

It is nice to look forward to a weekend as time spent doing both chores and enjoyable things without dreading how you are going to cram everything in or get to all your obligations.

I wonder sometimes if we should be doing more, involved in more things or have Miss K signed up for more activity with her peers. Are Big C and I social enough? Is Miss K getting to do all the things she'd like to?

I think the answer is yes. Miss K is in swimming lessons right now. She's not overly thrilled by the process, but its a life skill and that is the only thing we will insist she do as far as lessons go. There has been talk of some sort of dance, but as of yet I cannot find much that is not a 6 month commitment not to mention 100's of dollars. 

Yesterday morning Big C pulled out the Scrabble board and we sat down and had a game, Miss K just wanted to play. I sat there at one point contemplating what to do with my letter Q, that had no "U" to go with it and thought, this is good. I really like this, warm cozy on a winter's morning, with the people I love and enjoying one another's company. I don't think any game, match, recital or whatever could make me personally much happier.

I think that is the key, finding what works for you. I realize of course the more kids you have the more weekends can get complicated, but do they need to be is the question? Are you and your kids really missing out on that much if they don't make every team or do everything their friends do?

Miss K just wanted to play by herself Sunday morning. Sure she pops by to show us what she's been making or asks for help when things are tricky, but she just wanted to play. Not on a computer, not on the iPad, not watch tv, not play a game, just play. And for that I'm happy, that she is content to do that without needing outside stimulation to accomplish the task.

Sometimes I think we structure too much in kids lives and they forget the magic of playing and being creative and coming up with something cool all on their own. 

Sure we can provide them cool things to do, but often its better to think of things yourself.

We took the dog out yesterday afternoon to do some longer retrieves. Miss K asked what she could do. We gave her a couple options to help us out, but in the end she resorted to making snow angels and rolling down the small hills in the snow. She was rosy cheeked and smiling after it all and it cost nothing, got her some exercise and fresh air and she thought of it all on her own.

That is pure heaven as far as I'm concerned. The magic of being a kid gets lost if you are always structured in your fun. Skate this way, twirl that way, wear this, wear that, line up over here, practice is at 3, too many rules and commitments takes the fun out of things.

I think that is why I've enjoyed the past few weekends so much, sure we've got swimming lessons at a set time, and there's errands to run, but overall they've been unstructured and commitment free and thus we're more free to do what we'd like to do.

Sure, I know some families would self implode if they were not at the hockey rink or baseball diamond or swimming pool every weekend and you have to do what works for you.

But if you're feeling run ragged on the weekend as well as during the week, maybe its time to stop and look around at how much you really need to be "involved" in activities and perhaps you need time to be involved with one another.

It's just a thought, until next time…take the time to see if you have enough time to enjoy life

Snow and finding "me" time

Winter is here. Or at least the snow is.

About 4 inches of the white stuff came down overnight. 

Miss K is delighted. She can finally play in the snow as she has been wanting to do since about 30 seconds after Halloween was over.

Today was even a snow day. So I hope she got out a lot to play in the snow. 

Mixed emotions on the snow day though as it was to be show and share day in her class which she loves a lot. However our sitter is usually game to roll with whatever cool thing was to happen at school and let the kids have their moment in the sun at her house, so that is always awesome.

Aside from that not much going on with us. Big C away tonight for work. He got the snow mostly cleared this morning so I'm hoping there is not much that I need to do tonight …if anything. Tricky to find time with dinner to make, dog to feed and exercise and try to spend some time with Miss K in addition to plowing snow? Not cool. Its fun, but when I can do so at a leisurely pace and not have to worry about getting inside or leaving the kiddies unsupervised.

I am thankful though, originally Big C was to be gone for the entire week, so I will count myself lucky that he was around to move snow this morning as it could have been me trying to figure out how to do that before work…lol

He is away all next week so I'm hoping for little snows all week long. No big ones, getting up at 5:30 is early enough, I don't need to get up at 5 am just to plow snow. (even if it is super fun to do with the 4 wheeler)

Life has returned to somewhat normal, or at least post Christmas normal. There are fewer things that need to be done so that leaves some more relaxing weeknights and weekends.

I've even had time to read lately which is a feat unto itself. 

I like to be busy. Probably too much for my own good, but I don't like to procrastinate too much or else there'd be laundry mountains, no dishes left to eat off of and everyone would be scrambling in the morning to find something to eat that day for lunch. If there is something I think I can do in a reasonable amount of time without sacrificing spending time with my family then I'm going to get it done. 

I sit down and read when I figure there are enough things done to keep our heads afloat in the chore department and have determined that the other things out there can indeed wait until another day.

So, if I've had time to read lately you know things have been pretty good in the time/activity/chore management dept. I haven't read a ton, but that is my go to thing when its relax time or chill out time and for that I'm happy that life is calm enough that I have those 20 minutes here and there.

So often life kicks it up a notch and you wonder where the hell the last week or month went. Squeezing in the "me" time does wonders for a person's sanity, and if you say you don't have the time to do that, maybe its time to take a closer look at life as you know it.

Over scheduled and jam packed describe too many lives these days. I'm determined not to let my life be one of them. 

I will still choose to sweep the floor or clean a bathroom when I can, or mend some clothes or whatever other household chore presents itself. I will enrol my kid in swimming lessons (mandatory at our house) or whatever other activity she so chooses. I will pick up the slack when my husband is not home and hold down the fort as best I can. I will work a full week outside the home and contribute what I can to charitable organizations and so on.

But I will not let all this activity drive me to a point where I'm missing playing a game with my kid, or helping with a craft (as this seems to be the latest passion with her). I will do my best to spend at least one hour an evening with Big C with no interruptions, even if it involves stretching out on the couch with one another and watching something PVR'd. I will spend time with the dog too, he gets the short end of the stick some times in the time dept. but I know an extra scratch or snuggle fills up his heart too.

If it means letting the dishes go one more time, or cancelling a weekend event to do these things I will do it. I will not over schedule my kid in 100 different activities so that we are running all week long.

We need time to live, not just "do". We all need time to just chill out and be ourselves. I think I'm doing pretty good with that lately and we all benefit from it.

Til next time…I hope you find time to just be you...

Christmas vacation with a silver lining

We are 5 days into the new year. The festive season has come and gone for another 12 months or so. Although the way the marketing machine works in the world I suspect we'll see the first hints of Christmas in about 9 months.

It was a wonderful break. Really really good. There was some bad stuff like my car being an asshole and costing me about 700 bucks I could have saved or used elsewhere. The weather being crap for playing outside or doing anything winter/snow related. As in there was no snow.

But in all reality I could not have asked for anything more. It was fantastic. And further proof that I could retire tomorrow and have a ton of things to do with my days, but I fear my savings would run out long before my ideas of things to do if I retired now. So I will carry on working for another 15 years or so.

The lack of snow meant easy travel for the most part and with a 700 km journey each way to the "nord" that was welcome.

We got to see family and friends and for the most part did not tire of either. 

We ate lots, probably drank more than we should have and generally enjoyed ourselves in all situations.

We even slept a great deal and partook of many naps which further refuelled the batteries in our life.

I learned a few things too. Maybe learned isn't the word, but gained a new perspective on things might be a more apt description.

We visited 5 week old puppies while we were off. Siblings of our existing dog. If you know what a labrador puppy looks like at 5 weeks of age, then you know how impossibly cute they are. Damn freaking adorable let me tell you. But I am glad that not one of them is coming home with us. No puppy training, no chewing, no howling in the middle of the night…thank goodness.

We visited some friends of Big C's while in the nord, the husband of which was diagnosed about a year ago with ALS. A cruel debilitating disease with very little chance of long term survival. You would think it a depressing visit and in some ways I suppose it was. I thought as we rolled away that there was very little chance that we'd see him alive again if our pattern of Christmas visits continues as it has. In all honesty it was more inspiring than upsetting.

It hurt to see his young daughters and know they would be without their dad within a few years, but he was the same old guy. No he could no longer walk and his speech was starting to slur a tiny bit, but he still had the zest for life and humour that he always had. He said to us that at one point he was ready to pack it in and give up on things and one nurse said that he still had much to give and many to inspire. I believe it. I'm not sure I was inspired, but forced to be happy for my own relatively good health as well as the health of those around me.

I have a chronic disease, but its managed and for the most part in remission so for that I am grateful. Big C and Miss K have their troubles too, but nothing major and all is manageable. You realize quickly how much life is impacted when we don't have our health. Even some small bout of flu can spell havoc for even the most organized of families, let alone a major illness or disease.

This man was losing control of his body. Motor function was failing him at every turn, but you could see the spirit and life and fun emanating from him no matter how bleak the situation may look. 

It put a lot of things in perspective. How things may truly suck in your life for any number of reasons, but if you put the good out there, share some positivity and contribute something wonderful no matter your limitation you are going to impact people on some level.

Miss K made me proud and thankful this holiday season too. She did have her moments of pure 5 year old selfishness where things were all about her and presents and doing what she wanted but for the most part she was her usual kind, caring and sensitive self.

We were around other people and kids that made me thankful that mine was for the most part polite, not argumentative, cleaned up after herself (not always without being asked, but acceptable for being 5), used her manners and was respectful of other kids and adults.

Is she the most perfect kid on the planet? Nah. But in my honest opinion I think most would say she is a pleasure to be around and doesn't make too many waves. 

She got an iPad for Christmas. OK, don't judge. Under normal circumstances there is no way in hell I would buy a 5 year old their own iPad. Not even a responsible, gentle kid like mine.

However I happened to win said iPad over the summer at a golf tournament. Both Big C and myself have one already. So obvious choice is the remaining member of the family who does not right?

Yes and no. I did consider a donation to a charitable organization as a fundraiser, but since I won it from such a fundraiser, I thought that sort of weird.

Miss K is very responsible and careful when using our iPads so I knew damage would not be an issue. But still an iPad for a 5 year old?

We eventually decided that we would, it would be a good learning tool and something to grow with her and use for school etc…

Before Christmas Miss K did mention that she was saving her money for an iPad. We told her that she would have to save a lot and she seemed OK with that.

A few days after receiving her iPad we had this discussion.

"Hey mom?"

"Yes"

"You said iPad's cost a lot of money right?"

"Yes"

"So did you and dad have to pay a lot of money for the iPad I got for Christmas"

"No, not really. Do you remember the time I went to that golf tournament and you and dad hung out because I left really early and got home just when you went to bed"

"Uh-huh"

"Well, there was a contest that you bought tickets for and I won the iPad at that golf tournament and that is why you got it for Christmas"

"Oh, OK"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you said it was a lot of money for one and I was saving for one and I didn't want you to spend a lot of money"

"We would not have bought you one if that is what you are asking"

"No, but I can use my money now to buy stuff for the iPad right""

"Yes, you can"

"it was pretty lucky to win one wasn't it?"

"Yes it was"

"I'm glad you did, I really like it"

"I'm glad I did too"

Yup, it was an expensive gift for a 5 year old, but after that conversation I'm glad we did it. She very likely has no concept of how much an iPad actually costs but is smart enough to know she's pretty lucky to have one and that is enough for me.

Plus, the fact that she is more content to do crafts or play games than be glued to the iPad. I know at least for the time being there will not have to be any restrictions on how much she can use it or limiting her screen time, she's is her own best electronics police. In the 10 days she's had it, I think she might have logged about 3 hours total on it, and that is just perfect in my books.

When you hear of all the childhood obesity and lack of social interaction skills due to tv/video games or in general screen time, I'm very happy to say my child does not think any of that screen time is a priority, and neither do I.

I hope everyone had some enlightening and uplifting moments in the last few weeks

Til next time…stay warm!