A big step

Tomorrow is Friday. I'm not sure if it is going to be a good one or not. We're going to register Miss K for school in the morning.

I'm a little excited about it, but mostly filled with dread and anxiety.

I know she'll love school. Really I do.

But 4 is so young, and the kids go every single damn day, all day long. I wonder if it's too much too soon.

Will she have even kicked her nap by then? I guess we're going to have to work on that.

Big C and I talked at length about it the other night. The only conclusion we could come to was that if it wasn't working for her, we'd just pull her out and try again next year.

We found out this week that we had the option of sending her to Catholic school. 

I'm not sure how I feel about it. On a personal level I'm not much of a church or God person. But on a maternal level I know it's the right environment for my kid.

At least I hope so.

She knows kids who go to the school. We won't have to change day care. She even knows the bus driver on the bus route so I figure that is all good.

She is an honest, caring and compassionate kid. I'd hope that a more faith based school will nurture that and make it bigger and better than it is already. Maybe knowing that God has her back will keep that honesty and integrity intact.

I hope she'll be comfortable. I hope she'll come out of her shell quickly and show how bright and funny she is.

Maybe she'll do better than she would at a public school and maybe not.

I sure do hope so.

I'm not ready for the nut-free snacks, the healthy lunch choices, the pizza days and school trips.

I think Miss K can handle it but I'm not sure I'm ready.

It's still 7 months away, but I'm not sure I will make it. 

Backpacks, lunch bags, indoor shoes, outdoor shoes, pencil cases and name tags oh my!

Maybe it's because it makes me sad. Every time I look at her she seems to have grown, changed or become older before my eyes.

I relish seeing her grow and learn but realize how fleeting each age and stage can be. It tears at your soul just a wee bit every time they accomplish something more grown up. 

I look in her eyes and see the baby I've always known, right from that first instant you could see a whole world in her baby blues. But there is something more there now, a depth I didn't see before, more knowledge, more everything contained in that gaze.

I can't stop looking, trying to freeze every single moment in some part of my brain so it will be etched there for all eternity. So I can remember all the firsts, all the deep conversations, all the giggles.

Maybe it's that school is such a huge step in her independence that I feel this way. I just want to capture it all and and put it somewhere to remember when we're knee deep in science projects and school team practices.

She'll be ok. I have every confidence that she will, but she might have to help out her poor old mom a time or two from waxing nostalgic to when she couldn't reach the kitchen sink or didn't brush her own teeth…

Til next time…hope your kids had a good day at school

Random January thoughts

Ol man Winter, or old woman winter is some pissed these days. Damn its cold. It was even snowy this past weekend. Not sure even how much snow we got because the wind blew it into some pretty fantastic drifts. 

You should have seen the look on the dog's face when I opened the patio door Saturday morning and he was staring at a wall of snow. 

This was not a east coast wallop where you get 3 feet of snow in one weekend and it drifts to 5 feet up your door by any means. But when you are an almost 4 month old pup and there's about 18 inches of snow staring you in the face, you can see why he was a little perplexed.

Thank goodness he loves the snow because once I cleared that first bit away for him he just plowed through and made the best of it for his morning constitutional.

I dread tomorrow morning, we're still supposed to have high winds tonight and Big C is away for the night. I picture 5 foot drifts in the morning to shovel out of the way before work. 

Ahh it is what it is. Basically it's winter and it sucks the big one. Vacations are running over 5 grand for the 3 of us to the places we'd like to try out and that is too rich for our blood. Yup we could go to Cuba or the Dominican a little cheaper but we've been there, done that, so we'll suffer and pretend that we're somewhere warm with fruity drinks.

I'm sure Miss K will be disappointed when we don't actually fly away anywhere this year but she'll get over it. She's embraced one winter sport so far, so hopefully that might help get us through.

She's picked up the skating thing pretty quickly. Not skating on her own by any means but for her second time out skating by herself with the skate assist thingy is pretty good in my books.

She took one tumble where she bit her lip a bit and that kind of dampened her spirits but other than that she was thrilled to be out there. A pretty cool moment as a parent to see your kid pick up something so quickly and be so darn happy about it.

The puppy dog is growing at a terrible clip. Still bucket fulls of cuteness and awkwardness but I think he's starting to get it. He has his bad days, but for the most part he's learning. Learning what is expected of him, learning the routine, learning that he can play a little rougher with the big people and not so much with Miss K.

I wish the weather was better. I'd love to get him out doing some more training, running him some more to take the spunk out of him a bit. Spring will come and then he will be even more fun than he is now.

I'm feeling a little torn these days. Registration for school is upon us and MIss K qualifies for JK this September. I'm a little hesitant because I don't think any 4 year old needs to attend school all day every day. But if you don't send them, are they behind their peers in the curriculum and making friends?

On a personal front I'm excited for her to go to school. I think she'll love it. I think she'll take to it like a fish to water. But, it's sad too. The end of an era. The end of the innocent days of just playing and hanging out. The start of homework, and all the drama that comes along with school. I'm dreading the tears because someone doesn't like her, or someone said something mean or she didn't get picked for the school play or whatever.

It'll be hard on Big C too, he's that big mushy dad who only sees his baby daughter whether she's 4 or 24.

And we have to pick where she's going to go. I'd love an immersion school of some sort. French is the norm as we're a bilingual country, but I'd take any language. The nearest French immersion school would mean being on the bus at about 7:45 and getting home at 4:30. Hmmm, let me think about that…no!

So we're down to the public system or the Catholic system. By virtue of Big C being baptized catholic and them easing off on the admission requirements Miss K can go to either school. 

Pros and cons for both…we've got a bit of time to weigh them and then seal our fate so to speak.

And on a completely different track. I watched some of the Grammy's last night. 

First what is with all the old people on the Grammys. The Ozzy Osbourne, Paul McCartney, Merle Haggard, Madonna, Keith Richards etc… I guess it's cool they're still making music, but egads isn't it time for somebody else to step up?

Maybe its a comment on how crappy today's music really is? These old geezers still have to be in the mix because there are only Justin Biebers and Robin Thickes out there to take their place.

I'm old and out of touch. I like the music I like and its very often not anybody that wins a Grammy. And I will never understand why anyone needs to where something that looks like an iron man mask to accept an award, but hey, that's just me

Til next time, get into your groove with whatever music moves you…maybe we can just dance winter away?

Polar Vortices and Skating

Well we're back into another polar vortex, that's two polar vortices already this year. I only mention it because I rarely get to use the word vortices in a sentence, like, never. Should not be as cold as the last one, but still some pretty significant wind chills to deal with. Joy. It's not doing much for my winter blahs let me tell you.

On the plus side we had a good weekend. We took Miss K skating for the first time.

Miss K is a happy kid and is most often smiling, but you would not believe the grin from ear to ear when she was on the ice.

It was her first time. A lot of Canadian kids have already been on the ice numerous times by the time they are 3 and a half. But for a variety of reasons we were a little late to the party.

Not that we're thinking that she will be some great skating star, it's enough to learn this sport well enough that she can partake of a social winter time activity throughout her whole life.

She amazed us both. Nowadays you get to use a "skate assist" to help you get your balance and aid the standing up process when you wipe out. She took to it like a fish to water.

We figured on a whole lot of falling, a lot of parent involvement and perhaps some tears.

But no. It was all smiles for her, even if there was a wipe out. She took it all in stride. She spent most of the time with her dad holding her up, or at least holding onto her coat, but for a time she did it all by herself. Her other favourite part was when Big C took her for a spin super fast around the ice between his legs.

Pretty cool to see. And we had fun too. I was excited that I didn't fall on my ass after not skating in about 5 years. Big C refereed  and/or played hockey for 25+ years so his skating ability far exceeds most of the general population.

Miss K asked if we could go again on Sunday, so I suspect that was a good sign. And she wants to try skiing too…maybe it will be a bright spot in an otherwise dismal winter. Vacations south are looking to cost somewhere in the neighbourhood of your first born child so I'm thinking that won't be happening.

Til next time...stay warm

The Blahs of January

It's just past the middle of January and I'm officially tired of winter. We still have a good 6 or 8 weeks of this crap left to go, but i'm done with it.

We've been looking at vacations south recently. I'm not sure that we'll actually go, but it helps alleviate the despair of their being more cold and snow on the horizon.

We love to ski. Big C and I have been on our share of ski holidays and there is always something to be said for a good afternoon of sledding or skating, but aside from the odd "pretty" snowfall, winter kind of sucks.

It's cold, which I don't like. it seems to be dark all the time except for when I'm at work, which sucks. It's slippery when you are trying to walk a bouncing 3 month old puppy.

I'm just worn out with winter already, and it isn't even half over yet. 

Maybe some sadness comes with the passing of our original mudpup's birthday. She would have been 7, still a lot of life left to live for a lab, but not in her sad case. My heart still hurts a little for my girl, so unfair to have half a life she never got to live.

I do hope she is bringing joy to whomever is around her in the place people and animals go after they die. She was too special not to.

We're tired too. Still trying to figure out how to get the pup to sleep past 5 am. He usually doesn't have to go pee, he's just lonely and wants company.

I'd love to just bring him back into the bedroom to see if that solves the problem, then we could all rest a bit more. We'll figure it out, i hope so anyway because it is bad enough having to get up b4 6 to get ready for work, but it's worse getting up b4 that!

We are all grumpy. I find there is more yelling going on in our house these days than there needs to be. Nobody is really mad at anyone, we're just all tired and the patience level is not where it should be.

You try, you really really try to put it all in perspective. You do your best to let Miss K's constant jibber jabber not get to you. You hope the dog doesn't chew on the corner of the coffee table yet again or steal your gloves when you're trying to get ready for a walk.

You long for quiet family moments where everyone is happy and no one is yelling or on a time out or saying that you didn't listen.

We all work so much better when we're a team. Doing it for the greater good of the whole bunch, not just focused on ourselves and our needs.

It wears you down. You're fatigued to start with, then your kid asks you to do something or get something for them and 30 seconds later you forget the request.

I feel like I'm failing everyone somehow. Not a big colossal fail, but little bits over time, just chipping away till one day I completely go off the deep end.

One day I'm going to say or do something I really regret. I know its coming, I don't know when, but its coming. One big humongous screw up is coming my way.

Don't ask me how I know it, but I do. I just hope when it happens it doesn't jeopardize the life that I have or irreparably damage a relationship.

We all fight our own battles. I try valiantly to keep it all in check, to keep things in perspective, to keep a positive outlook.

Maybe its just a case of the winter blues, or maybe it is something more severe, more hazardous to life as I know it…it's lurking…will it come and bite me in the ass or can I fend it off

Only time and perhaps spring will tell

Til next time…get thru winter whatever way you can

Miss K's conversations Part 2

It's been a while since I have wrote anything on the wit and wisdom of Miss K. 

Why anyone would call a conversation with a three year old wit and wisdom is beyond me, but that is the only way I can describe it.

We have some of our best conversations in the car to and from the daycare sitter. It's 5 or 6 minutes of uninterrupted alone time for the 2 of us and it is awesome.

I had to leave early today for the hospital for one of my treatments and believe it or not I missed the trip to the sitter that we usually take.

Sometimes the discussion is about the weather. The sun is just coming up the past few weeks when we're headed out so she likes to check on the clouds and forecast whether or not she will see a rainbow that day. She loves rainbows and is disappointed that they are not a weekly occurrence or even monthly for that matter.

Other days we've discussed why people don't have french fries for breakfast. We pass a vacant lot where the local french fry truck resides and she wonders why it is not there at 7:30 in the morning. She reasons that french fries would be fine for breakfast as long as you didn't have them everyday. She might have a point, people eat hash browns at breakfast, is there really much of a difference??

She thinks it would be cool if the kids would bring there skis/sleds/snowboards to the skatepark. She seems disappointed that it doesn't get used in the snowy months.

We can discuss all three of these things in one trip…she is  a pretty intense talker.

Miss K can tell a story so boring and mundane to you, but the way she tells it sounds like the coolest thing since yogurt tubes. She just has a way of repeating what happened in a day that you smile in spite of yourself.

Speaking of repeating, she has not left that annoying trait behind. As a toddler she would repeat a lot of things we said, it increased her vocabulary and clarity of speech.

Now, at times its just annoying. I don't think she does it intentionally, I think its more habit. Big C will say something to the dog and she deems it necessary to repeat the same thing, much to Big C's dismay and irritation. He actually threatens a time out if it gets too excessive, I think more to make her aware she's doing it, than as an actual punishment.

Miss K has a way of saying things that just make people smile. She can have a drawl, or a cute little girl voice, or just a Miss K conversation inflection.

She is presently thrilled that she can count to 10 in spanish, and I've even had to learn 11-20 so that she can count higher. She's up to 100 (with a little help) in English and is working on her 1-10 in French.

I figure by grade one I'm going to have to go back to school to keep up with her.

It's a good thing, 100%, I'm thrilled to have a kid so excited about learning and talking and expressing herself.

She is still on the quiet and shy side, so I hope this will stay with her in some form throughout her life. I think she will always be an introverted kid, but once she gets to know you watch out… her charm and enthusiasm are gonna be contagious.

She told us a rather lengthy story last night. The details of which are not important. Just that she was so pleased with herself, and she pointed out to us that she had not told us that one before. Yes, we agreed that was a new one and it was a good story. Not a made up one, but a retelling of actual events that was pretty impressive for her age.

My mom is in the sunny south right now and they've actually kind of caught on to the Skype/video chat thing so Miss K is getting a kick out of having another audience in a different country to chat to from time to time.

She just talks and talks and talks some more. I know one day I'm going to wish that she would just say hi to me or tell about her day. For now I'm going to soak all the stories in, save them in a vault for when the teen or tween years hit and the last person she wants to talk to is her mom

Til next time…see if you can get your kids to tell you about their day

Puppies, Angels and Christmas...Part 1

OK, it's been a bit. Christmas came and went, we are into 2014 already, pretty crazy how the "vacation" went by so fast.

I'm thinking that having a puppy might possibly kill me, if it doesn't, travelling will or some other peril of the season that I haven't thought of yet.

We had puppy drama about 60 hours before we were due to leave for my father in law's house. 

The entire week before we were to leave, Big C was getting a funny feeling about where we were supposed to be leaving our new pup for the holidays.

We knew even before the little guy was born that he could not come with us to the "nord" Too long a journey, too small of a house and an old cranky dog that would not play well with our pup was going to be there. 

No problem, we'd made arrangements with the breeder ahead of time, and he said he'd take him back in over the holidays for us without any issues. Awesome, so we made the decision (based on more than just this) to go ahead with the purchase.

Except, we find out later that the breeder really had no intentions of having any of the pups over xmas. If he had any still left he was looking to farm them out to another friend of ours.

Wait. What? You said you would take him, but really weren't going to keep him? Or you could take him and then leave him in a crate for 6-7 hour stretches? 

I don't think so buddy. We're doing fantastic with housetraining, an accident in his crate could set us back 6 months. What the hell is going on?

Now let me get this straight. I never had any great love of the breeder before this day and will have even less after, but he is a pretty good dog guy and we expected a bit more. Not a little puppy locked in a crate in a  cold room waiting to get out, we were looking for more Norman Rockwell family Christmas if you get my drift.

OK, so now what? We are leaving before dawn Monday morning and it's now Thursday evening, we have to drop puppy dog off by Sunday afternoon somewhere, except now the question is…where??

Big C gets a hold of whomever he can. Most of it in desperation because who the hell is going to take a 10 week old puppy over Christmas this late in the game?

Our friend who had said she may be able to help us out had a relative's dog forced on them to recuperate from a gruelling surgery so she couldn't help us. She did have a friend down the road who would take him in, but no real information on who/what she was like.

Saturday morning we were still no further ahead. Big C asked if I would contact the lady that I'd been emailing about our old mudpuppy's condition. She took in dogs with special needs/medications and treated them like family. She was interested in meeting our beloved girl and took the time to research seizures and their effects, so even though we hadn't met, she was pretty special in my books.

I sent out a last ditch email attempt with a cute photo of our pup attached and hoped for the best. Maybe she would know someone caring in the area that could take him.

By lunch time I had a response…she could take him but would have to work something out for the 24th/25th as she had to go away. If she couldn't find anyone we'd be up shit creek pretty much, or left with someone we didn't know or staying home.

2:30 rolled around and she'd done it, she'd found a client of hers that would take him in for the 2 nights that she would be away. We could drop him off Sunday afternoon.

Yeehaw! After talking with her at length Saturday evening, I knew we'd found the right spot for our boy. A true lover of dogs, she busted her butt for people she hardly knew.

Oddly, she kind of thanked us too. Her young dog had an isolated seizure a couple months back and she was very happy that she'd been in touch with us about their effects etc…

Funny how things work, funny how there are angels out there willing to put it all on the line to help someone out. We owe her a huge debt of gratitude and hopefully can pay it back/forward in the future.

We dropped him off on Sunday afternoon before going out for supper. Within minutes he was at home, there were even videos when we returned home of him meeting her dogs and going for a walk in the woods.

Very cool. Even more videos and messages kept coming and he was an instant star on her Facebook page as the week progressed. 

I thought of him often but never worried. He has stole our heart in one short month and I know already Miss K would be lost without him. He's the first thing she thinks of in the morning and one of the last at night. But he was in a good place and in all likelihood wouldn't have cared if he didn't come back to our house.

We got lucky this time and hopefully we can send him there in the future too. Is it cheap? No. Is it really close to home? No. But it is worth the drive and the expense to know that he's safe and well cared for? Absolutely.

Thank you to our Christmas angel and to all those who did angelic things for almost strangers, we need more people like that in the world

Til next time when I tell you about wanting to choke our new pride and joy...