The Blahs of January

It's just past the middle of January and I'm officially tired of winter. We still have a good 6 or 8 weeks of this crap left to go, but i'm done with it.

We've been looking at vacations south recently. I'm not sure that we'll actually go, but it helps alleviate the despair of their being more cold and snow on the horizon.

We love to ski. Big C and I have been on our share of ski holidays and there is always something to be said for a good afternoon of sledding or skating, but aside from the odd "pretty" snowfall, winter kind of sucks.

It's cold, which I don't like. it seems to be dark all the time except for when I'm at work, which sucks. It's slippery when you are trying to walk a bouncing 3 month old puppy.

I'm just worn out with winter already, and it isn't even half over yet. 

Maybe some sadness comes with the passing of our original mudpup's birthday. She would have been 7, still a lot of life left to live for a lab, but not in her sad case. My heart still hurts a little for my girl, so unfair to have half a life she never got to live.

I do hope she is bringing joy to whomever is around her in the place people and animals go after they die. She was too special not to.

We're tired too. Still trying to figure out how to get the pup to sleep past 5 am. He usually doesn't have to go pee, he's just lonely and wants company.

I'd love to just bring him back into the bedroom to see if that solves the problem, then we could all rest a bit more. We'll figure it out, i hope so anyway because it is bad enough having to get up b4 6 to get ready for work, but it's worse getting up b4 that!

We are all grumpy. I find there is more yelling going on in our house these days than there needs to be. Nobody is really mad at anyone, we're just all tired and the patience level is not where it should be.

You try, you really really try to put it all in perspective. You do your best to let Miss K's constant jibber jabber not get to you. You hope the dog doesn't chew on the corner of the coffee table yet again or steal your gloves when you're trying to get ready for a walk.

You long for quiet family moments where everyone is happy and no one is yelling or on a time out or saying that you didn't listen.

We all work so much better when we're a team. Doing it for the greater good of the whole bunch, not just focused on ourselves and our needs.

It wears you down. You're fatigued to start with, then your kid asks you to do something or get something for them and 30 seconds later you forget the request.

I feel like I'm failing everyone somehow. Not a big colossal fail, but little bits over time, just chipping away till one day I completely go off the deep end.

One day I'm going to say or do something I really regret. I know its coming, I don't know when, but its coming. One big humongous screw up is coming my way.

Don't ask me how I know it, but I do. I just hope when it happens it doesn't jeopardize the life that I have or irreparably damage a relationship.

We all fight our own battles. I try valiantly to keep it all in check, to keep things in perspective, to keep a positive outlook.

Maybe its just a case of the winter blues, or maybe it is something more severe, more hazardous to life as I know it…it's lurking…will it come and bite me in the ass or can I fend it off

Only time and perhaps spring will tell

Til next time…get thru winter whatever way you can

Miss K's conversations Part 2

It's been a while since I have wrote anything on the wit and wisdom of Miss K. 

Why anyone would call a conversation with a three year old wit and wisdom is beyond me, but that is the only way I can describe it.

We have some of our best conversations in the car to and from the daycare sitter. It's 5 or 6 minutes of uninterrupted alone time for the 2 of us and it is awesome.

I had to leave early today for the hospital for one of my treatments and believe it or not I missed the trip to the sitter that we usually take.

Sometimes the discussion is about the weather. The sun is just coming up the past few weeks when we're headed out so she likes to check on the clouds and forecast whether or not she will see a rainbow that day. She loves rainbows and is disappointed that they are not a weekly occurrence or even monthly for that matter.

Other days we've discussed why people don't have french fries for breakfast. We pass a vacant lot where the local french fry truck resides and she wonders why it is not there at 7:30 in the morning. She reasons that french fries would be fine for breakfast as long as you didn't have them everyday. She might have a point, people eat hash browns at breakfast, is there really much of a difference??

She thinks it would be cool if the kids would bring there skis/sleds/snowboards to the skatepark. She seems disappointed that it doesn't get used in the snowy months.

We can discuss all three of these things in one trip…she is  a pretty intense talker.

Miss K can tell a story so boring and mundane to you, but the way she tells it sounds like the coolest thing since yogurt tubes. She just has a way of repeating what happened in a day that you smile in spite of yourself.

Speaking of repeating, she has not left that annoying trait behind. As a toddler she would repeat a lot of things we said, it increased her vocabulary and clarity of speech.

Now, at times its just annoying. I don't think she does it intentionally, I think its more habit. Big C will say something to the dog and she deems it necessary to repeat the same thing, much to Big C's dismay and irritation. He actually threatens a time out if it gets too excessive, I think more to make her aware she's doing it, than as an actual punishment.

Miss K has a way of saying things that just make people smile. She can have a drawl, or a cute little girl voice, or just a Miss K conversation inflection.

She is presently thrilled that she can count to 10 in spanish, and I've even had to learn 11-20 so that she can count higher. She's up to 100 (with a little help) in English and is working on her 1-10 in French.

I figure by grade one I'm going to have to go back to school to keep up with her.

It's a good thing, 100%, I'm thrilled to have a kid so excited about learning and talking and expressing herself.

She is still on the quiet and shy side, so I hope this will stay with her in some form throughout her life. I think she will always be an introverted kid, but once she gets to know you watch out… her charm and enthusiasm are gonna be contagious.

She told us a rather lengthy story last night. The details of which are not important. Just that she was so pleased with herself, and she pointed out to us that she had not told us that one before. Yes, we agreed that was a new one and it was a good story. Not a made up one, but a retelling of actual events that was pretty impressive for her age.

My mom is in the sunny south right now and they've actually kind of caught on to the Skype/video chat thing so Miss K is getting a kick out of having another audience in a different country to chat to from time to time.

She just talks and talks and talks some more. I know one day I'm going to wish that she would just say hi to me or tell about her day. For now I'm going to soak all the stories in, save them in a vault for when the teen or tween years hit and the last person she wants to talk to is her mom

Til next time…see if you can get your kids to tell you about their day

Puppies, Angels and Christmas...Part 1

OK, it's been a bit. Christmas came and went, we are into 2014 already, pretty crazy how the "vacation" went by so fast.

I'm thinking that having a puppy might possibly kill me, if it doesn't, travelling will or some other peril of the season that I haven't thought of yet.

We had puppy drama about 60 hours before we were due to leave for my father in law's house. 

The entire week before we were to leave, Big C was getting a funny feeling about where we were supposed to be leaving our new pup for the holidays.

We knew even before the little guy was born that he could not come with us to the "nord" Too long a journey, too small of a house and an old cranky dog that would not play well with our pup was going to be there. 

No problem, we'd made arrangements with the breeder ahead of time, and he said he'd take him back in over the holidays for us without any issues. Awesome, so we made the decision (based on more than just this) to go ahead with the purchase.

Except, we find out later that the breeder really had no intentions of having any of the pups over xmas. If he had any still left he was looking to farm them out to another friend of ours.

Wait. What? You said you would take him, but really weren't going to keep him? Or you could take him and then leave him in a crate for 6-7 hour stretches? 

I don't think so buddy. We're doing fantastic with housetraining, an accident in his crate could set us back 6 months. What the hell is going on?

Now let me get this straight. I never had any great love of the breeder before this day and will have even less after, but he is a pretty good dog guy and we expected a bit more. Not a little puppy locked in a crate in a  cold room waiting to get out, we were looking for more Norman Rockwell family Christmas if you get my drift.

OK, so now what? We are leaving before dawn Monday morning and it's now Thursday evening, we have to drop puppy dog off by Sunday afternoon somewhere, except now the question is…where??

Big C gets a hold of whomever he can. Most of it in desperation because who the hell is going to take a 10 week old puppy over Christmas this late in the game?

Our friend who had said she may be able to help us out had a relative's dog forced on them to recuperate from a gruelling surgery so she couldn't help us. She did have a friend down the road who would take him in, but no real information on who/what she was like.

Saturday morning we were still no further ahead. Big C asked if I would contact the lady that I'd been emailing about our old mudpuppy's condition. She took in dogs with special needs/medications and treated them like family. She was interested in meeting our beloved girl and took the time to research seizures and their effects, so even though we hadn't met, she was pretty special in my books.

I sent out a last ditch email attempt with a cute photo of our pup attached and hoped for the best. Maybe she would know someone caring in the area that could take him.

By lunch time I had a response…she could take him but would have to work something out for the 24th/25th as she had to go away. If she couldn't find anyone we'd be up shit creek pretty much, or left with someone we didn't know or staying home.

2:30 rolled around and she'd done it, she'd found a client of hers that would take him in for the 2 nights that she would be away. We could drop him off Sunday afternoon.

Yeehaw! After talking with her at length Saturday evening, I knew we'd found the right spot for our boy. A true lover of dogs, she busted her butt for people she hardly knew.

Oddly, she kind of thanked us too. Her young dog had an isolated seizure a couple months back and she was very happy that she'd been in touch with us about their effects etc…

Funny how things work, funny how there are angels out there willing to put it all on the line to help someone out. We owe her a huge debt of gratitude and hopefully can pay it back/forward in the future.

We dropped him off on Sunday afternoon before going out for supper. Within minutes he was at home, there were even videos when we returned home of him meeting her dogs and going for a walk in the woods.

Very cool. Even more videos and messages kept coming and he was an instant star on her Facebook page as the week progressed. 

I thought of him often but never worried. He has stole our heart in one short month and I know already Miss K would be lost without him. He's the first thing she thinks of in the morning and one of the last at night. But he was in a good place and in all likelihood wouldn't have cared if he didn't come back to our house.

We got lucky this time and hopefully we can send him there in the future too. Is it cheap? No. Is it really close to home? No. But it is worth the drive and the expense to know that he's safe and well cared for? Absolutely.

Thank you to our Christmas angel and to all those who did angelic things for almost strangers, we need more people like that in the world

Til next time when I tell you about wanting to choke our new pride and joy...

Kids and puppies

Puppies and kids, kids and puppies, their relationship is one that I will never understand. It's fantastic, but it's an unspoken bond that adults will never figure out.

Our new mudpuppy is doing pretty well. He's being less of a pain in the ass but still getting into trouble on a regular basis. 

He still tries unsuccessfully to get on the couch, it's not going to be long before he can jump up there, which will really suck.

He still chews anything and everything despite having the entire puppy chew toy selection at our house.

He still doesn't completely like his crate and being left alone. Big C is back to work this week so we've got someone coming in 3 times a day for play time and potty breaks so he's not crated too long. But I'm thinking it will be a month or so before he gets completely used to the process.

He still is full of puppy spunk and craziness. I can see why they say that you should never get a puppy at Christmas time. That would be nuts, just nuts.

My own public service message…no matter how much your kids beg and plead, never ever get a puppy for them for Christmas. They are too much work, too needy, too much of everything to be involved in the chaos of the season.

If they really want a puppy, wait. Yes, wait. Wait till after the holidays, I'd even advise waiting until spring if you live in a cold snowy area. Wait until you are really, really prepared for this new little living thing to enter your lives.

Because if you wait you won't regret it. Kids and puppies are about the sweetest combination you'd ever want to come across.

Our mudpup is infatuated with Miss K. No matter what he is in the middle of, he stops when he hears her voice. He goes nuts when he's upstairs and she comes home and he can't see her. He sits longingly at the gate in our living room when he hears her in the morning, anxious for her to emerge from her room.

Miss K is not much better. She usually bolts out of bed eager to go see her puppy. She typically won't go pee, get dressed or anything else practical till she sees him too.

Let me be clear, our mudpup thinks she's another dog. He wants nothing but to roughhouse, nip and wrestle with her if he could. We've even witnessed a couple running pounces in attempts to get her to play "puppy"

There have been tears because he's nipped her with his sharp puppy teeth or scratched her with his paws. She hides up on a kitchen chair at times when he just won't leave her alone.

No amount of "NO" or ear pinches or distractions will deter him some days, but he's getting better.

You'd think she'd be scared. You'd think she would want him to go away. 

It's just the opposite. 5 minutes after he's scratched her, she's back giving him hugs and kisses. Miss K loves this dog, unconditionally and fully. 

She never asked for another dog after our first Mudpuppy passed away. She still mentions her everyday and will always love her but she never asked to get another dog. I believe she hoped we would, but she never requested one.

That was our choice to get another dog. And I'm glad we did. He's a pain in the ass and we're not getting nearly enough sleep, but he's good for the soul. 

Life just seems more relaxing and comfortable with a dog.

He is a handsome little fellow, he is learning some stuff very quickly and I hope will be a fantastic retriever as well as a family companion.

So, if you are thinking about getting a dog…think really hard, really really hard. They are a ton of work and I mean a ton, but if you want to reap some big rewards and give your kids a buddy that will love them just as fully as they do, you might be doing a good thing

Til next time…think about adopting a rescue dog or from the local humane society

Being tired makes you say stupid things

I feel pretty bad today.

It's really cold and kind of snowy. It's Monday. But that isn't the reason I feel bad.

I yelled at my kid today. This morning while we were supposed to be getting ready to leave or trying to get ready is what I should say.

We were running behind. Not by a lot, but we were falling behind on the get out the door at a decent hour train.

Miss K had done a super job getting her teeth brushed and kind of brushing her hair. ( In winter hat season, any sort of style is hardly worth doing) I figured we were golden.

I thought wrong.

I ran back upstairs to grab a bag to put my shoes in as I had to wear winter boots to work today and Miss K followed me back up the stairs too.

Go back and start putting your boots on please.

No

Just go, I will be there in a minute, get your coat on at least. 

No

OK, I'm ready, let's go. So back downstairs we went. She took one slipper off and I figured we were rolling now.

Then she said she needed help with her other slipper. 

No you don't take it off and get your boots on. 

No, I can't

Let me preface this by saying we are presently having a battle with Miss K about the phrase I can't. She technically isn't allowed to say it, not that it doesn't leave her lips about 100 times a day its that it gets ignored until she comes up with something more appropriate/accurate, like "I don't want to" or "I need help" or "I'm too tired" or something of that nature

You took off one slipper, you can do the other

No, I  can't, can you take off the other one?

No, I need to get my boots on too, you do it and then I will help you with your coat.

No, I can't. And with that she stretched flat out on the stairs and proceeded to do nothing to get ready.

Put on your boots now please, at this point I'd taken off the other damn slipper and was attempting to help her get her stuff on.

So I said more things that were perhaps a little too gruff about putting her boots on and taking away other privileges when she got home.

Which resulted in even more defiance from her. Big C still being on leave from his surgery  was in the picture by now too. He took the drastic step of a swat on the bum and threats of no books at bedtime.

She was in full out meltdown and tears now. 

I felt horrible. Miss K is not a bad kid. Has never been a bad kid. We rarely if ever have to put her in a time out or any disciplinary measure. But she really, really pissed me off this morning.

She can fully dress herself, carry her own back pack and do the zipper on her coat and a lot of the days she does it. Occasionally we get asked for help with a tricky zipper or some snaps and that is just fine, but today she and we went over the edge.

I know why i lost it. I'm tired and achy and a whole host of other things but it doesn't amount to a good excuse for losing my temper.

She didn't deserve that start to the day and I don't need to feel guilty all day. 

I know in the long run she won't remember today. And I probably won't either.

Chasing a puppy over the house and keeping him out of trouble is hard. Waking up numerous times a night for him to go pee sucks too.

But, hurting your kids feelings and setting the tone for the day yelling at them is inexcusable. 

Yup, I'm tired and irritable, but I've got to find a way to be better than that. To get past that and be more level headed with my kid. To realize that she has bad days too.

I'm going to pick her up from the sitter's today, I will give her a big hug like I always do, but today it's going to mean just a little bit more

Til next time…count to 10 before you yell at your kids, maybe it just isn't worth it...

He's here

Well he's here.

Our new puppy came home last week.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's good. It's really good having a dog back in the house. Comforting on some level.

But scary on another. Like being a new parent. This helpless being that relies on you for so much and you wonder how you will ever make it through.

He's cute, really really fluffy black ball of spunky cute. He will stop, sit, tilt his head to one side and just look at you and it makes you melt just a little bit inside.

He's also a pain in the ass. A big one at times.

The first night he was home I got no sleep. I don't mean a few minutes here and a few minutes there, I mean zero minutes. He was up every damn hour and he went pee every single time you took him out.

Now there was some missing of his 10 other litter mates. And adjusting to a new home. But every damn hour?? Oh god what a long night. 

We've had him nearly a week and we're at least down to 2 and 3 hour, sometimes 4 hour stretches at night before he feels the need to pee, so that is helpful.

That and Big C has decided to take one for the team as he says. He's still off work after his appendectomy so easier for him to nap during the day than me. They tend to frown on that in an office environment for some reason.

We're limiting his water and night and he seems to kind of like his crate now so things are getting easier in that department. But a long way to go still.

Miss K is in love. Head over heels in love. He jumps on her (which we're keeping to a minimum as best we can), has got her with the sharp puppy teeth by accident and she still comes back for more.

He loves her too. He thinks she is a puppy…but she's the only thing remotely close to his size, so who can blame him?

He seems pretty smart. As smart as a spazzy puppy could be that is. I'm hoping he ends up well behaved, we're trying for that, but who knows at this stage of the game.

I'm still nervous, still not convinced that this was a good idea, but hoping with all my heart that it will be fine. 

I missed having a dog in the house. I didn't miss the occasional hassle that comes along with them, but missed that presence/love/peace that comes with them

He puts a smile on my face everyday and I guess that's a start…

Til next time…a pic of my big guy that has  a soft feminine side in his choice of resting spots

Adding 4 legs to the house

Our lives are about to change again.

Puppy day is fast approaching. Friday we will welcome a 7 week old black lab into our home and begin both the bonding and training process with our new mudpuppy.

It comes with much excitement and much skepticism or fear.

We haven't ever done the puppy stage before with a dog. Sure there are millions that do it every year, but how are we going to manage with working full time etc…

Exciting though that we get to be the pup's new family. The 2 legged litter mates if you want to call it that.

The little guy sort of picked us. We had our eye on about 3 or 4 in the litter that would fit our needs and wants in a hunting dog/companion.

He picked us though. He was in the group of 3 or 4 but he stood out as being the one that hung around us the most, came up to us right away and kept coming back for more.

He snuck into our hearts in a few short visits. Chasing away some of the darkness left by our former mudpuppy's demise.

Almost 6 months later losing her still hurts. 

I had a big talk last night with Miss K. She knows that she is gone, that she is living with God, but doesn't understand why she just can't come home for a little bit.

She wants to give her more kisses and hugs she said. Bless her heart she just wants to see the dog she loved one more time

Miss K is excited about the new puppy. She loves going to see all of them and is almost counting the days until he comes home.

She asked last night why when our Mudpuppy died that she couldn't come back to us. She understood that she went to heaven and was living with God, but wanted desperately to just hug her once more because she missed her a lot.

How do you tell a three year old that its just the way it is, when something dies, it doesn't come back, when all you want to do is the same as her?

Just one more hug, one more sloppy kiss to the face would somehow make it better.

Reality is tough, especially when you're three. It brought tears to my eyes to see Miss K give a big kiss to the picture of her and our mudpuppy. She was pretty sure that our mudpuppy felt them all the way at God's house.

I guess we don't see how much she is hurting. How much she really does miss having the dog around.

I know we'll never have the same experience we did with our first girl, but there's hope this new little guy will put a smile on all our faces and realize new hopes and dreams with his presence.

All I know is it will be an adventure like none before it…

Til next time when I talk of puppy dog tales...