Spring is here for sure. And with less than a month until summer begins its starting to feel like it. Its hard to believe I'm contemplating putting the air conditioning on when we had snow just a scant 10 days ago, but such is reality.
Reality is, life is hard some times. All in all we're healthy and things are not at tragic proportions so we do count our blessings but the little things do start to add up.
The renovations are done in the previously flooded basement, so that is exciting, but now we've got to find all the replacement stuff for what we lost, so finding time to shop when the weather is good will be tough.
Big C was away all of last week for work, then had to pick up his dad from the airport as he was coming into the area for surgery. The surgery went well but his recovery has been less than smooth and its putting a strain on the whole household.
Miss K wonders why her dad isn't home most days, or why he has to go back to the hospital at a moments notice. She misses him terribly, and at times we cannot even Skype so she misses the connection even more.
Big C is tired of being away from home. He said he's been 50 nights in one particular hotel chain already this year. That does not count about half a dozen nights spent in other hotels. Right now he's spent a third of the year away from home by my estimation.
He is stressed about his dad, stressed about not being home, misses us all terribly but yet feels he needs to be with his dad. He's tired of sitting in the hospital, tired of travelling, tired of eating crappy meals at crappy times.
His dad is a stubborn patient and is making things difficult for Big C at times. Big C wants him to keep a positive attitude and see the bright side to everything, but is sometimes talking to an unwilling listener.
I'm holding down the fort at home, trying to get all the stuff done that needs to be and maybe just maybe squeaking in something I want to do from time to time. I'm managing, but sleep deprived and just plain tired of it all and longing for some normal days in the future.
As I've said in other posts I've got the utmost respect for those who parent/work/and manage household tasks all on their own all the time. It can really, really drag you down.
I know at some point in time that my other half will return and there will be someone else to load the dishwasher or clean my kids ears or take the dog for a walk or cut the grass. But can you imagine if that person never was there? If you had to do it all day in and day out for the rest of your life? I might just go stark raving bonkers.
On top of all that fun stuff, we've got a dog that is confused as hell as to who is going to be home and when. My car decided that the rear brakes were going to not co-operate with me having a good week and generate a 800 dollar repair bill. We have persistent birds who wish to build nests where we do not want them and so on...
We have a vacation coming in 3 weeks that we're trying to book hotels for as we so desperately need to get away.
Like I said first world problems as we could have it so much worse, but how long before someone says something hurtful, how long before Miss K causes me to lose my shit over something minor? You just don't know and you deal with it as best you can.
We don't take much for granted these days, every hug, every hello or goodbye, every I love you has so much more meaning.
To paraphrase the Barenaked Ladies, (or Bruce Cockburn if you remember that version) "nothing worth having comes without some sort of fight, you gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight"
We're fighting, we know all this crazy stuff will come to an end. We are just not sure when. We want to train the dog some more, we'd like to get out golfing, we want to go boating, we have an endless list of things to do around the house, but at times life gets in the way.
And on some level, we say, let life get in the way…it means you are still alive and kicking. We're healthy for the most part, the bills are getting paid and we are safe and happy in our home, really what more could you ask for?
I would say an extra 8 hours sleep if I could have one wish, but aside from all our woes we are going to make it. They are temporary and we'll come out on the other side stronger and better than ever, maybe more tired, but we'll get there
Til next time…kick some darkness out of your life
No comments:
Post a Comment