Another fall day that feels like summer. Honestly one of the best summer weekends we had was this past one and it was really in Autumn. 26°C each day and sunny, coolish at night so no A/C required, how could you ask for anything more?
Miss K begged to wear her bathing suit and play in the water one more time on Saturday and I couldn't say no. We washed one of the cars and she played in the hose and it really couldn't get much better than that. Even the dog had fun with the water.
Big C not quite as happy as we were as it was opening day of duck hunting season. Shorts weather is not exactly ideal for ducks or shooting them anyway. But they did manage to rid the world of a few more geese so not all was lost on the day for them.
Today is anniversary #7 for us. Married 7 years, who woulda thunk it? Seems the wedding wasn't that long ago, but instead we're on our second dog, our kid is in school and the marriage itself is well, I don't even know what to say it is these days.
I would not say shaky ground. That seems to imply that someone is threatening to leave or there are fights and unkind words being said a lot. That isn't the case.
But that security blanket isn't there anymore either. It's been pulled off and now we stand there kind of exposed and naked to all that marriage has in store for us.
Somedays I wonder if we'll see 8 years of marriage and others I wonder what we'll be doing when we're married 25 years.
I don't feel particularly comfortable these days. Not awkward or unloved, just not very secure it what is going on and happening.
One day there's lots of hugs and genuine affection, the next I feel its pretty much a one way street, as in I'm giving lots, but not getting in return.
Not that I expect to get everything back. I'm not a tit for tat type of person when it comes to that stuff, just that there's a pretty hollow feeling inside when there's no feeling from the other person.
Big C isn't cold or standoffish, its something I can't put my finger on, more like he'd just rather not touch me or be near me, like he's so wrapped up in himself, that everything else ceases to exist.
Today is a day I could really use a hug. Sure Miss K gave me a couple this morning and no doubt there are more to come later today. However, this is a need for a big wrap you in some big strong arms and feel comforted hug.
But, my guy is in the big city until Wednesday and some days I'm not even sure that he'd want to give me a hug like that, because it would imply feeling that he perhaps doesn't have.
I hope that my flower delivery gets to him and that it brightens his day, just knowing those two things would sure brighten my day
Til next time…I hope everyone's day is brightened, either by the sun, someone's kind words or whatever puts a smile on your face...
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