Dear Big C
I am writing this letter of apology for all the things I should have said but didn't. Sometimes there are things that people need to hear and I wasn't saying them, feeling them, but not saying it.
I am so sorry that I let you down. I knew something was wrong, knew you were hurting for a long time but didn't push to find out what it was.
I know how deeply you feel things and with the loss of your grandfather, our Mudpuppy, and your emergency surgery along with stress on the job last year, it was easy to pass off your troubled look for something more superficial.
I should have pushed further, should have said that I was there for you and that you had my support. I know how long you've been hurting and that makes me sad.
It broke my heart last week when you said it was so nice to hear that I supported you in your new temporary position. Which meant that it was something I should have been saying out loud all along.
I assume sometimes that you know how I feel by the way I act and take on responsibilities at home etc…but realize that hearing it, would help too.
I am so, so sorry that you felt alone and struggling with whatever is tormenting you, my asking deeper questions or saying that you have my support may not have changed the course of events but at least you would have known that I'm here for you.
We all need to hear that the other person thinks were sexy, or smart, or funny, or kind or caring or whatever and I'm not doing enough of that. because you are all those things and so much more.
It's going to take baby steps to get us back to where we were, I want you to find that spark and joy in life again and I want you to know that I'm by your side loving you every step of the way
Love,
Your wife
Til next time…take the time to tell someone WHY you love them
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