The new normal

One day down, about 20 more years to go.

Miss K's first day of school ever was yesterday. I think I feel a little less like I'm going to throw up today, but not much better.

It was OK overall. Really it was, I think other that being very nervous and overwhelmed by everything, she did have a good time at school.

She was positively bouncing when we went to pick her up, so I figure that is a good thing, but that she is going to crash hard at some point this week and it could be ugly.

She was excited about her teacher, thought recess and outside time was very cool but didn't really want to go back today. 

On the flip side she was pretty good this morning, much better than me. 

I'm still paranoid that I will forget something really vital to send with her. Yesterday it rained and it dawned on me there was no jacket or umbrella for her. We felt bad.

We're used to her being at the sitter and if push comes to shove, she can wear someone else's clothes or coat or whatever if needed. If you forget something for school, you're screwed.

There were lots of tears yesterday. Lots from Miss K and lots from Big C and myself. Pretty ugly all around, we held it together pretty good for the sake of Miss K, but after that we were a mess.

I felt like I was going to barf most of the day and I'm not sure what Big C was feeling, but overall it wasn't good either.

It will get better and become the new normal, but it still sucks. 

I hate having to pack a lunch for her. She's a slow eater and that isn't going to help her when everyone else is going out to play and she's still trying to finish her sandwich. I'm already running out of ideas for lunches, I just don't know what else to pack for her that she will actually want to eat.

Then there was the homework for Big C and I last night, we must have spent 40 minutes reading through and sorting out forms and things. All of it necessary, but overwhelming and tiresome.

I'm not ready for the new normal yet, I know I'm not. There's just so much going on, you wonder how much more you can take.

Big C and I are OK, not great but OK. There's glimpse's of the old Big C, but still so much of the troubled and tormented guy that every day brings its challenges.

I keep asking for patience and taking every day step by step, I used to think I knew what the future would bring, but now I'm not so sure.

I guess it's be thankful for the here and now and pray for smoother waters to come

Til next time…hope your back to school experience has been ok