We've made it through 4 days of JK. All Miss K does is talk about school. It does not however mean that she wants to go to school.
Today was a battle to get her in a good enough mood to even eat her breakfast. She was having no part of school today, was scared, nervous, tired, didn't want to go, didn't like it, you name it, she was bound and determined that she was not going to school.
We told her we were tired, didn't really like work and didn't want to leave home on a Monday morning either. This actually seemed to placate her a bit, but I have a feeling it could be a really long week ahead.
She will be ok, I know she will, its going to take some time though. There are other kids I'm sure having more of a rough go than her, but it sucks pushing her to do something that she's so fretful about.
The weekend was pretty good, weather was coolish, but sunny for the most part and we had Big C's dad and lady friend to visit which was good too.
The weekend started off with a funeral on Friday afternoon. One of my best friends mom's passed away after a determined battle with cancer. Sad, but you could almost see the relief on the family's faces that the battle was finally over as it got pretty ugly near the end.
I will miss her. She was a special lady. Different in some ways that any one that I've ever known, like a mom you wish you had picked if there was such a thing as a shopping mall for mom's.
I know her husband will be lost, they've been married 43 years. They did most everything together, from raising a family, to running a business to travelling, touring and socializing, you didn't very often see one with out the other.
Big C didn't know her as well as I did, but I know it was his own private hell that day too. She was young and gone too soon, just like his mom 7 years ago. It sucks on so many levels but death is part of life and you soldier on.
It was nice that they had a ministerial friend do the service. So much better than some priest or chaplain reading from cue cards, this guy could actually speak from the heart and mind a bit and reflect on her true character and that made the service so much more warm and less solemn.
It was an ok weekend for Big C and I. Not super, but I've decided to take the positive challenge, and keep things in perspective. I hope that by keeping things upbeat and not dwelling on the crap that is in our lives right now, maybe I can really be the change that I want to see for our family.
Big C is trying. I can see it, he has lapses, but he's truly making an effort and for that I'm glad. I miss the tenderness and physical touch that so cemented our relationship, but I have faith it will come, in time it will come again.
Whatever the outcome at the end of all of this, I want him to be happy with himself and within himself. He's too special a person not to be all he can be.
Til next time…keep your chin up and your thoughts positive
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