Wiggly teeth and sad things

I feel a little sad today.

The gloomy weather isn't helping, I don't think I could live in England if its overcast and drizzly a lot of the time. That would royally suck…no offense to the queen…

Big C leaves tomorrow for his annual moose hunt. He is usually gone on the Thanksgiving weekend, so in that respect it was nice to have him home for the holiday. But it means 7 or 8 days of just me and the kid and fur kid. 

All will be well. We can handle it of course, it just sucks. I will miss him, Miss K will miss him and even the dog will miss him. And we cannot talk or Skype with him as he is off the grid so to speak.

As of about 9 am Friday morning we will not hear from him for 5 or so days and that plain takes a toll on everyone.

But we'll manage, its a temporary thing. Not like he's going to fight a war in some country, or taking off to climb a mountain and we don't know if he will ever come home.

On a lighter note, but still something that makes me sad is that Miss K has a wiggly tooth.

She was fired up this morning when she came into our bathroom to show us that indeed the bottom tooth was moving back and forth.

I'm excited for her as its a big step toward being a big kid, and she is excited that the tooth fairy may bring her something.

I'm sad though. I remember that tooth coming in. I remember seeing the white beneath the gums of my infant daughter and thinking that it happened too soon. And now a little less than 5 years later, she is looking to lose that first tooth and I'm still thinking its too soon.

She is happy though, and excited about the whole thing, so I will follow that enthusiasm and try not to shed any tears when it does actually come out.

Perhaps she can share some of her enthusiasm with the Blue Jays. They got walloped last night in game four of the best of 7 series. Their backs are against the wall now, and while one should never say never in sports I suspect there may be a whole lot of sad Canadians in the next few days as our only team loses its chance to get in the world series again.

Christmas is about 2 months away and that is a bid sad. 

Other than those things, which in the grand scheme of things are not really all that sad, life is pretty good overall.

Til next time…may the tooth fairy leave good things at your house...

150 minutes of my life wasted…or was it?

Two and one half hours of my life that I will never get back. 2.5 hours that I could have spent doing something else or taking a nap but instead I spent it basically taking up space.

Just one of those things that you do for your kids I guess.

Miss K was invited to another birthday party. She gets at least one a month, usually from kids that I have never even heard of her saying she plays with at school, but whatever, perhaps the parents invite everyone and hence the party invites.

She usually doesn't want to go. She has been to one so far and this was the second that she wanted to attend. But only if I could come too.

OK, not what I want to do on a Sunday afternoon, spend my time at a 5 year old's birthday, not even close to being on the list if you know what I mean. But at the same time I knew where she was coming from. I wouldn't be comfortable going to a strange house, with strange adults that I'd never seen before as a kid either. I seem to remember some pretty awkward feelings as a kid growing up in the same situation.

Thankfully I had met the mom of the girl having the birthday and felt ok asking if I could come along as Miss K felt more comfortable with the scenario.

Part of me wanted to say that no she couldn't go to the party unless she went by herself like the other kids. I wanted to say "You're five, nobody else is going to have their mom there". But I didn't and I wouldn't.

Miss K is a vibrant fun loving kid that will talk your ear off if she is comfortable with the surroundings and who she is with. 

She is still that same kid when the situation is unfamiliar, but it gets withdrawn into a shell of quiet observation when the tables are turned.

So we were off, to spend 150 minutes of tedium on my part, but it was nice to see Miss K relax and enjoy herself a little bit after a while.

I resisted saying too much or encouraging her to participate more but instead chose the role of supportive but mostly mute mom who was there for moral support.

One of those parental moments that you sort of want to hold onto. 

Big C and I were talking the night before about how excited (read not excited) I was to spend most of the afternoon at this party. We wondered how much longer we'd have before she didn't want us around any more. How soon was the day going to come that we'd have to drop her off and not leave the car, not hug her good bye or things like that.

I hated losing the afternoon to watch a bunch of children do crafts, eat and play games.

But I loved seeing Miss K look over from time to time and relief spread across her face seeing that I was there and smiling at her. I loved knowing that she had a great time and if my being there helped that, it was worth not having a power nap or folding laundry or whatever.

She is a great kid and if going to a birthday party or 2 or offering up another hug is what it takes to get her through, I'm all for it. As they say before you know it, it's gone, no more little kid, no more neediness, only independence.

Til next time…when your kid asks for help, I hope you can take the time to give it to them

Thanksgiving and the great marketing machine

Another long weekend has come and gone. A beautiful Thanksgiving weekend in these parts. Sunny, highs near 20 degrees, which at this time of year is a rarity. That's about 68-70 degrees for you folks that use Fahrenheit. 

And the weekend seemed long too. We didn't do too much special but it seemed like a good 3 day break from the everyday. Very nice to have the good weather to go along with it. 

We did a ton of yard work, not nearly enough I'm sure, as we'll still be out in the freezing cold trying so scoop up the last of the leaves and cut the grass one more time. But we're slowly getting stuff put away and cleaned up and ready for winter.

The weekend was not all work either. Big C and the dog got 2 hunting days in so that was exciting for them. Exciting for Miss K and I as well and we were able to sleep in. Not that we couldn't have slept in with them home, its just different somehow…quieter maybe is the word. I dunno, it was nice to sleep past 7 at least once and nearly 7 the other 2 days.

Miss K had her swimming lessons Saturday morning. There were no tears this week, she still cannot get over that she is too big for a parent to go in the pool with her. She feels a little out of her element all by herself I guess, but she's doing ok just the same.

We had a big family dinner on the weekend. My mom's family still gets together over Thanksgiving and Christmas. All the cousins now bring their kids and I'm suspecting in a few years we could even see another generation as the cousin's kids start having kids which is frightening unto its own.

There were about 28 or so of us for supper. A big group, but kind of nice that you could avoid the ones that you don't really want to talk to. One cousin was home that hadn't been in about 3 years so it was nice to see them. Others who shall go nameless, I just try to avoid.

Miss K had fun. She stuck pretty close to Big C and I for the most part but she was reasonably social and well behaved. She was also asleep about 15 minutes into the drive home, but when you play hard you sleep hard too.

Back to the grind for a shorter week which is always nice. Sucky that its the last long weekend before Christmas, but what can you do?

Speaking of Christmas my dislike for the season is increasing. There is Christmas crap in the stores already…already like 2 or 3 weeks ago already. Total bullshit. The marketing machine of corporate greed rolls on. Pretty soon we'll be able to buy Christmas lights with our kids back to school supplies.

It's awful. No wonder people get so stressed during the holidays, this crap has been shoved down your throat for over 2 months about buy this, do that, make this blah, blah blah.

I hate it. I don't hate much in this world but I hate the materialism, marketing and mayhem that goes along with it.

Deep down I quite like Christmas, there is much wonder and peace to be had with the season, but all this other crap I can do without.

I went this morning before work to pick up some solutions to our mouse in the house problem and a few other things and was assaulted by boxes and boxes of Christmas crap awaiting to be displayed in the aisles along with the stuff that was already there.

Not the way I wanted to start my day. Halloween is still 2.5 weeks away and I have to see all of that?

I don't get it, I never will and I will rebel against the Christmas machine. I long for a simpler time. Maybe not so simple that the gifts are handmade, but you get where I'm going…no one really needs a clove ball for their closet anymore do they?

We know Christmas is coming, we will probably decorate, and buy gifts but don't bombard us with gross displays of money grabbing commercialism until at least mid November…

I know its just my two cents…but that is about all I want to spend on Christmas at this time of year.

Til next time be thankful for what you have and enjoy the good weather while it lasts

Almost 4 Hollywood marriages and the need for more grace in our lives

It's nearing the end of September. Our summer like weather is soon ending. I told Miss K this morning that today may be the last day for shorts to school. She was bummed. I can't say as I blame her.

I am not in a position to wear shorts to the day job, however it is almost sublime to be able to come home the end of September and slip into a pair of shorts and walk around barefoot as the temperature is still nice enough to be able to do so.

Fall is nice don't get me wrong but it's not summer.

Tomorrow is anniversary number 8, which in today's society is about 4 Hollywood marriages. This time last year I was not even sure that we'd make 8 years. Things were weird, still are in some ways.

When your husband makes the statement that he is not in love with you anymore…your world turns upside down. A year later, I'm standing on my feet again, but balancing a lot of things and emotions still.

I do have faith we'll make 9 years and probably more. Things are better. There was no fighting or great conflict. I felt and still feel some days that Big C is troubled and though we talk about everything under the sun, this "stuff" is something he can't share with me.

It's troubling. But the footing underneath is more solid and I look at it as we can only go forward, we cannot go back to the past. 

I'm speaking up more. If only to say what I feel. Maybe not as much as I should, but I'm getting it out there a bit more.

It's not that I feel that either of us needs to change. Just that things need to be more out in the open. If I do so, then perhaps he will too.

Oddly it seems like this is another transition time in our lives. Not in an outward sense as we are both secure in our jobs, loving our house, Miss K is rocking the school thing and so on but in a more intangible sense.

I see old friendships changing or fading away and new ones forming. Activities once a regular thing taking the back seat to new experiences and opportunities.

You change, you roll with the punches, you adapt all while trying to keep your values, integrity and be grateful for the chances that you do have.

I think that is a big one for me right now. Gratitude. Or people's lack of it.

So much taken for granted, so much sense of entitlement and it can all be gone in an instant.

It's taking the time to ask someone how they are doing, or remembering an important event in their life.  Doing something for someone to show that you care. (I put completing school lunches and making your husband's lunch in this category only because I hate it so much). 

You don't have to go out of your way or spend a ton of money. Sometimes even the impersonal text message can be helpful when used in the appropriate way.

If someone gives you something or does something for you, say thanks. Please. Just say thank you. If your kid gets a birthday card from some distant relative, let them know it was received. It does not have to be formal or fancy, but tell them their effort was appreciated. 

Don't take anything for granted. If your kid asks for the 1000th time for you to do whatever annoying thing they want to do maybe it's time to do it. 

I sat and did some play-doh with Miss K yesterday for all of about 10 minutes but she was thrilled. I hate going to the park to play, but we go once or twice a month because it means a lot to her.

I say thank you when my husband cooks breakfast or makes me a drink and I mean it. 

As the saying goes; Life is short, play hard. Maybe life cannot be all play, but nourishing those relationships you need/want in your life is important. 

I can't stand that the house doesn't get cleaned on a regular basis, hate that there is more on the to-do list than the has been done list. However, I'm never going to regret a good water fight with my kid, or helping my husband out. 

Sometimes those opportunities get shoved to the side. Or we miss the chance to appreciate what others do for us. Who knows when just saying thanks could make someone's day?

I'm not an eternal optimist, more cynical and sarcastic, but I do believe there is good in the world and that we have to be cognizant of our surroundings and not miss out on the beauty of the world as well as the people in it.

If someone or something is not making your world a better place to be, then perhaps its time to move on to those that do.

Til next time…be gracious in all things you do, you may need some grace in your life when you least expect it

Things that can make you sad

We're past the mid way point of September and that makes me sad.

My barefoot days are coming to an end shortly. The seasons are going to change and I'm going to have to wear socks all the time. It makes me sad. Fall is lovely, but cold feet are not. There are lots of nice days in fall, but usually not warm enough in these parts to walk about barefoot and that is sad.

Big C's birthday is today, but he is not home with us and that is sad. He is with is dad doing some hunting and fishing so I suppose that is a good way to spend your birthday so for that I am grateful.

There is the Syrian refugee crisis and that is sad. I don't really understand all of it, but to want to pack up your family and leave a country locked in permanent unrest is a horrible thought. I feel sad for those people, and am not sad that I live in a country that people would like to come to in times of war/unrest/turmoil. 

It is sad that all of them cannot be helped. You try your best and look out for your fellow human being but in the end how much do you really want to give? You're still going to make sure your family is fed and taken care of and you're never really sure if your money gets to any of them anyway and that is sad.

The little boy in Texas who made a clock and took it into his high school got arrested because the teacher thought it was a bomb. While I understand the need for caution, at the grade 9 level both student and faculty should be capable enough to explain the situation so that no one gets arrested. It makes me sad that our society is so "on edge" that a kid cannot experiment with anything any more.

The argument is there that if a kid makes a toy gun should you not be suspicious that its a real gun? It was a clock people! A clock for goodness sake. I could have made a teddy bear for home economics and put a bomb inside that, but would my teacher be suspicious, no probably not as it was so cute and fluffy. When will common sense prevail again? It make me sad to think this kid will probably never bring anything into school again, nor will his classmates, lest someone think it a bomb.

Closer to home we had an amber alert this week for a missing 2 year old. I had to explain to Miss K what an amber alert was. She thought it was a good idea, but would definitely be scary not to know where your mom and dad were, or to be taken away by someone.

Sadder still the little girl was killed. Her dad killed and her as well. Awful. No 2 year old should be killed because someone had a beef with their dad. How does the mom ever go on with life?

Then there are the other things in the news that make me sad. Like why the Kardashian's even get media coverage? Who cares what sexual orientation Miley Cyrus is? The list goes on and on, but I guess we as a culture fuel this media circus and that is sad in itself.

It's Friday today and that is not sad…so til next time ignore the things in the world that are sad and make someone happy...

Where did summer go?

It has been freaking forever since I did a post here. For-ever with a capital F. WTF? 

I have no idea what has been going on that I've not been posting. I've been reading lots of blogs but not writing in mine.

Maybe a combo of nothing to say and no time to say nothing…if that even makes sense?

Back to school has been accomplished, we're on day 4 and I'm already hating the whole process. Once we get back into the routine it will be fine I'm sure, but I really dislike forms and lunches and putting names in everything. Which by the way I fail miserably at. I never remember when Miss K gets something new that it needs to be labeled. PITA if you ask me, these kids should be smart enough to keep track of their own shit shouldn't they?

Home life is pretty mellow. We're winding down with summer which makes me infinitely sad. But Autumn is OK as a season, just it's not summer…LOL. 

The puppy dog put something through is foot the other weekend. We're not sure what but he did a good job of it. Let's just say we're winding up week 2 of antibiotics and only recently has he got rid of the cone of shame.

He was such a bully with that thing. Once he figured out it made him that much bigger and he could just charge through most anything it was awful. To him it was the cone of "i can go wherever I damn well please and no one can stop me". He's getting better and that is the important part, hopefully his foot has healed enough for hunting season coming up. Big C anxious to have a duck hunting buddy again this year.

So that's our life, not too exciting…just living and taking the days as they're thrown at us…and somedays they are hurled at you at dizzying speeds but you bounce, tuck and roll with it and come out on the other side

Til next time…hope back to school is going well for everyone

Standing up for your right to be selfish as a parent

There is something that has been bugging me for a long time now. I'm not even sure if I will end up posting this, but perhaps there are others of you in the same situation and will feel my frustration.

I work full time. My husband works full time. I need to have a job to keep my sanity. I could argue that we don't need two pay cheques to make a go of things in this world, but it makes things easier. We have all medical expenses such as prescriptions, dentist and eye wear covered. We both have pension plans so that we have a nest egg come retirement time. Two incomes lets us put away some money for our kid's education down the road should she choose to go that route. And did I mention needing something to do with my day?

It's a choice not everyone can make or wants to make or whatever. When I had Miss K there was never a question that I would stay home with her forever, I was going back to work. I like my job, like the people I work with and feel overall that it makes our family better having that extra income as well as a mom that isn't going stir crazy being home all day.

Big C is the same, I know he likes to work and likes the extra's it affords us.

But there are drawbacks. It does mean our time with Miss K is limited. Now that she is a full time school kid, we aren't missing as much, but I figure we are with her just about 20 waking hours for Monday through Friday. That works out to about 1 hour in the morning and about 3 in the evening.

I miss her. Do I wish I could spend more time with her? Yes and no. With it being summer there are days that I wish we could just hang in our pi's and kick back for the morning and then see what the day brings, but I've chosen to work for my living and I am ok with that.

It gives me some adult interaction and a chance to make a contribution to the world doing something I enjoy. It gives her a chance to interact with other kids and gain some independence from us too. We have a great sitter and to be perfectly honest its like taking her to her second home.

Our weekends are enjoyed because we can all spend time together, even the dog. It perhaps sounds selfish, but we don't like to visit or plan a lot of get togethers because we enjoy one another's company. 

And this is where the problem begins.

There is one member of the extended family that complains about this…a LOT.

I won't name names, but lets just say that they are not part of the group that lives a long ways away from us.

I suspect some of it stems from friends of theirs that spend lots of time with their offspring and grandkids. A "competition" of sorts to see who did the coolest thing with their grandson or granddaughter.

It's not that we limit visits or shun them. They are always welcome to stop by and see Miss K, and have been since day one. There is no animosity or hidden family rift, just a lot of complaining that they don't get to see or do whatever with Miss K enough.

I note, that they are the only ones to whine about this.

Why can't we do this, we'd like to do that, when can we have her over. Don't you guys want to go out?

It's frustrating, because I do see their point. It would be nice to have us over for dinner, nice to take Miss K places, nice to do a lot of things, but they don't seem grateful for what they do get to do. it's wanting to do more because everyone else is.

I know that isn't the only reason, but I'm quite sure everyone else in our lives would like to do these things with Miss K as well as ourselves. 

They act like they are being left out of everything, but they get the same invitations as everyone else. And no they are not our preferred sitters of choice when we do go out. For one, they cannot take our dog, and sometimes he needs to go somewhere too. They have a tendency to ignore us when we ask them to stop doing something with Miss K or the dog. Not abiding rules of the house is a sure way to fall out of favour with us quickly.

Even when we do come over it is the off hand comments of having something months ago but we didn't come and visit so we never got to use it. Or expecting that things are going to play out a certain way, forgetting that they're dealing with a kid and it life unfolds by the minute and you better be prepared for the next one because it may be completely different than the one preceding it

But in all honesty, we don't pawn Miss K off too much. Should we do so more often? Perhaps.

But we like our time. I know this is our only kid that we're going to have, for sure for sure. I'm no spring chicken and neither is Big C, so time spent with Miss K is precious.

I'm going to say straight out, I'm going to be selfish and take all the time I can with this kid, and sorry to everyone else, but that is the way its going to be.

Too soon, she's going to not want to be with us and spend time with her friends. Or have other interests/hobbies that cuts into our time and I see and realize that.

There are people out there that will say that these people deserve time with her too, and I agree, but just realize that you are most likely going to have to share it with us too.

Don't force your agenda on me and my family. I'm standing up for it. I want to spend time with my kid, I'm sorry that you feel left out, but for once in my life I'm putting myself and my needs first and this is what I want for me.

No, we are not going to be an over at the in-laws every week for supper or take big family vacations kind of people. It's not going to happen and wishing it will be so isn't going to make it true. And complaining and whining about it certainly isn't going to help your case.

Be grateful for the opportunity's that you do have and stop harassing us for things you think you should have.

On a lighter note, Big C and I do have a bit of time this weekend to ourselves, hopefully get in some golf and some R&R without the presence of the chatty one

Til next time…stand up for what you believe is right for your family, don't be bullied into what someone else thinks is the status quo...