Stress visits

Well, it's been awhile. Haven't been tremendously busy, but not home much either these days. 

We were on a vacation for a little bit. Got the pup to his spa/dog camp for 4 nights, he made some new dog friends and got tired out. We went skiing with Miss K for the first time. I think she liked it, at least I hope so. Getting out there again made me yearn for the slopes and snow a little.

I wanted a beach/pool/fruity drink vacation, but it was not to be, this year it was snow/skis and swimming instead. Hey, a vacation is a vacation.

Speaking of vacation and stress relief do you ever find you have visitors to your home and it leaves you feeling more stressed than glad they came?

I've got that very problem. Some people just come and stir up your life so much that you are thankful that they're leaving, not so much that they came.

Some folks come into your house and it instantly feels like they are a part of it right from the moment they step through the door. Others tend to wreak havoc on everything and anything and you dread the chaos that ensues.

Case in point would be my dad. Love him to death, he's a great grandpa to Miss K and she has a good time with him. But there is something about their visits that leave me feeling like I want them to leave and/or not to come again anytime soon.

It's sad, really sad. I want Miss K to know her grandpa. He's a fun guy, lots to offer and lots to share. But, it's so stressing to have them come visit, everything just descends into mayhem.

I understand he and his wife want to have fun and tease Miss K. That's grandparents for you. I get that they don't want too many rules or structure. I know they want to be the "fun" grandparents.

But, it gets carried away. And they seem like outsiders. It seems like they look at us and how we run our household as being ludicrous.  That rules are silly and discipline a thing that should be ignored.

The last visit was a mess. It is always chaos around meal time. Always, Fridays are no exception and they arrived just at our meal time (they were invited for supper) and the dog feeding time etc… Big C wasn't quite done an emergency request from work and so on and so on. So, it didn't start out on a good note, but all was fairly typical till near the end.

It was getting near bed time and we request that Miss K kind of chill out. Not sit on the couch and vegetate by any means but start winding down. This is tempered a bit when we have visitors but its still "chill" time. 

But not that night. Every time we told her to tone it down, the grandparents made a big fuss and wound her up even more. Can you not hear what we're saying? We need her to be quiet or at least calm, not all worked up because then bed time is a battle that you aren't going to be around to witness.

Yup, it's fun to play and have fun. But there are limits and they don't seem to get that. My dad's wife grew up in a very strict household and I think her approach is the exact opposite. Rules, schmules, she doesn't care, she's going to do whatever it most fun and carefree. Leave the parents to deal with the fall out, I'm going home.

I get so frustrated trying to control my kid, yet let her have fun with her grandparents. When they don't get the hint or understand why we have the rules we do it's even worse.

The dog is still a puppy and we have some pretty firm rules for him too. No biting and no jumping up on people are the 2 biggest ones. No exceptions!

They think its cute when he's all excited and jumps up on them. It ain't gonna be so funny when he's 80 pounds and jumps up on you now is it? We cannot, absolutely cannot have him jump on anyone, as it is now he can take out Miss K pretty easily.

But they don't seem to get it. They're upset when we give his ear a pull for bad behaviour and he yelps. They think we're cruel and mean. 

Last visit the dog out and out bit Big C. They had been playing previously but Big C stopped and took the dogs toy away because it was wind down time for Miss K. The dog being a puppy and ticked that play time was over, bit his hand. Not enough to draw blood but close. 

This is a huge, unforgivable no no. If you are screwing around and he nips you, that is one thing, you're playing, but an out of context bite because you're not getting what you want. No way in hell is that going to happen.

So, if you are a dog in our house you get a big ear pull and get sent to your pillow for a time out so to speak. Effective for the most part, but not understood by some visitors.

We are stopping bad behaviour before it becomes a habit. Put an end to unfavourable behaviour right from the get go. If you wait till they're two years old its going to be too late.

But we're seen as being mean and hurtful and beating up on the dog. 

The day I ever abuse a dog, is the day I stop crying at those awful humane society commercials on tv. I can't even bear 15 seconds of those.

As one fellow that we train with always says, the good lord gave a dog 2 ears for a reason, give em a pull, you'll get a reaction and chances are you'll stop the one that you didn't want to occur.

One day I hope they get it. One day I hope they understand our household rules are for a better purpose. That we encourage good behaviour, so as to enhance everyone's life for the better.

It's not to control, or punish or be an enforcer. But to set boundaries and establish a clear definition for acceptable behaviour. 

We just need to get some of our guests to see the light and follow the rules too.

Til next time, stick to your rules