It's just past the middle of January and I'm officially tired of winter. We still have a good 6 or 8 weeks of this crap left to go, but i'm done with it.
We've been looking at vacations south recently. I'm not sure that we'll actually go, but it helps alleviate the despair of their being more cold and snow on the horizon.
We love to ski. Big C and I have been on our share of ski holidays and there is always something to be said for a good afternoon of sledding or skating, but aside from the odd "pretty" snowfall, winter kind of sucks.
It's cold, which I don't like. it seems to be dark all the time except for when I'm at work, which sucks. It's slippery when you are trying to walk a bouncing 3 month old puppy.
I'm just worn out with winter already, and it isn't even half over yet.
Maybe some sadness comes with the passing of our original mudpup's birthday. She would have been 7, still a lot of life left to live for a lab, but not in her sad case. My heart still hurts a little for my girl, so unfair to have half a life she never got to live.
I do hope she is bringing joy to whomever is around her in the place people and animals go after they die. She was too special not to.
We're tired too. Still trying to figure out how to get the pup to sleep past 5 am. He usually doesn't have to go pee, he's just lonely and wants company.
I'd love to just bring him back into the bedroom to see if that solves the problem, then we could all rest a bit more. We'll figure it out, i hope so anyway because it is bad enough having to get up b4 6 to get ready for work, but it's worse getting up b4 that!
We are all grumpy. I find there is more yelling going on in our house these days than there needs to be. Nobody is really mad at anyone, we're just all tired and the patience level is not where it should be.
You try, you really really try to put it all in perspective. You do your best to let Miss K's constant jibber jabber not get to you. You hope the dog doesn't chew on the corner of the coffee table yet again or steal your gloves when you're trying to get ready for a walk.
You long for quiet family moments where everyone is happy and no one is yelling or on a time out or saying that you didn't listen.
We all work so much better when we're a team. Doing it for the greater good of the whole bunch, not just focused on ourselves and our needs.
It wears you down. You're fatigued to start with, then your kid asks you to do something or get something for them and 30 seconds later you forget the request.
I feel like I'm failing everyone somehow. Not a big colossal fail, but little bits over time, just chipping away till one day I completely go off the deep end.
One day I'm going to say or do something I really regret. I know its coming, I don't know when, but its coming. One big humongous screw up is coming my way.
Don't ask me how I know it, but I do. I just hope when it happens it doesn't jeopardize the life that I have or irreparably damage a relationship.
We all fight our own battles. I try valiantly to keep it all in check, to keep things in perspective, to keep a positive outlook.
Maybe its just a case of the winter blues, or maybe it is something more severe, more hazardous to life as I know it…it's lurking…will it come and bite me in the ass or can I fend it off
Only time and perhaps spring will tell
Til next time…get thru winter whatever way you can
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