28 stickers

She did it. Miss K got 28 stickers. A perfect week on her behaviour chart. It was  going to be tricky for her, and she nearly blew it at bed time Saturday night but she did it and got her prize.

Let's back up a bit here. Miss K is not a bad kid, far from it, she for the most part is a pretty decent individual, but we wanted to show her that hard work pays off and working on things you're not good at or need help with will reap rewards in the long run.

We have a weekly chart, each day has 4 things that she needs to work on. Listening ears, no baby talk, good manners and getting herself ready. Listening ears and getting ready being the ones she struggles with the most.

The idea is that she needs 20+ stickers on the week, or about a 3 sticker per day average to get one hour of time with one or both of us to do something special (ie: not monetary) with us. 

If she achieves this milestone, we will give her our undivided attention playing lego, or going to the park or splash pad or whatever she chooses.

She's done pretty well in the last 6 weeks with only one week that she totally blew it all and got about 17 stickers total.

But last week she was perfect. Maybe not perfect, but she earned 4 stickers every single day. 

Big C was out of town or had other commitments most of the week so it was just her and I and she was a trooper. She fed the dog every night, she helped get stuff out for supper and helped clean up things too. Lots of things above and beyond her sticker guidelines and more than adequate for someone who is not quite 4 years old.

Saturday night there was a bit of a slip, she started to get worked up at bed time. Which usually leads to a lot of crying, phantom aches and pains, numerous bathroom trips etc…but she reigned it in and gained some grace with us as she'd been pretty much stellar all week.

So she got her prize, a shopping trip with her dad to get some Lego. Nothing big or fancy, but she was delighted that she could get something for doing good stuff.

We've changed things up a bit for this week and we'll add new tasks/behaviour to the list down the road and no doubt the standards will go up or tighten but I think she's learning something from it and we're getting better behaviour overall which makes everything so much better.

Punishing her for bad behaviour didn't seem to do much, we'd all end up getting mad and feeling guilty for something we said, so we decided to go with this approach and it seems to be working.

Reward her with our time and undivided attention when she has good behaviour. Kind of like getting a raise when you do a good job, but the preschooler version.

It may not work forever, but I can see it evolving into a chore chart as she grows, the reward being her allowance, or still just time with mom and dad to do something special.

For now, I'm happy that she is striving to get the perfect number of stickers and we're enjoying a more peaceful household, and our quality time together too…

Til next time…use your listening ears more than your talking mouth….