I feel pretty bad today.
It's really cold and kind of snowy. It's Monday. But that isn't the reason I feel bad.
I yelled at my kid today. This morning while we were supposed to be getting ready to leave or trying to get ready is what I should say.
We were running behind. Not by a lot, but we were falling behind on the get out the door at a decent hour train.
Miss K had done a super job getting her teeth brushed and kind of brushing her hair. ( In winter hat season, any sort of style is hardly worth doing) I figured we were golden.
I thought wrong.
I ran back upstairs to grab a bag to put my shoes in as I had to wear winter boots to work today and Miss K followed me back up the stairs too.
Go back and start putting your boots on please.
No
Just go, I will be there in a minute, get your coat on at least.
No
OK, I'm ready, let's go. So back downstairs we went. She took one slipper off and I figured we were rolling now.
Then she said she needed help with her other slipper.
No you don't take it off and get your boots on.
No, I can't
Let me preface this by saying we are presently having a battle with Miss K about the phrase I can't. She technically isn't allowed to say it, not that it doesn't leave her lips about 100 times a day its that it gets ignored until she comes up with something more appropriate/accurate, like "I don't want to" or "I need help" or "I'm too tired" or something of that nature
You took off one slipper, you can do the other
No, I can't, can you take off the other one?
No, I need to get my boots on too, you do it and then I will help you with your coat.
No, I can't. And with that she stretched flat out on the stairs and proceeded to do nothing to get ready.
Put on your boots now please, at this point I'd taken off the other damn slipper and was attempting to help her get her stuff on.
So I said more things that were perhaps a little too gruff about putting her boots on and taking away other privileges when she got home.
Which resulted in even more defiance from her. Big C still being on leave from his surgery was in the picture by now too. He took the drastic step of a swat on the bum and threats of no books at bedtime.
She was in full out meltdown and tears now.
I felt horrible. Miss K is not a bad kid. Has never been a bad kid. We rarely if ever have to put her in a time out or any disciplinary measure. But she really, really pissed me off this morning.
She can fully dress herself, carry her own back pack and do the zipper on her coat and a lot of the days she does it. Occasionally we get asked for help with a tricky zipper or some snaps and that is just fine, but today she and we went over the edge.
I know why i lost it. I'm tired and achy and a whole host of other things but it doesn't amount to a good excuse for losing my temper.
She didn't deserve that start to the day and I don't need to feel guilty all day.
I know in the long run she won't remember today. And I probably won't either.
Chasing a puppy over the house and keeping him out of trouble is hard. Waking up numerous times a night for him to go pee sucks too.
But, hurting your kids feelings and setting the tone for the day yelling at them is inexcusable.
Yup, I'm tired and irritable, but I've got to find a way to be better than that. To get past that and be more level headed with my kid. To realize that she has bad days too.
I'm going to pick her up from the sitter's today, I will give her a big hug like I always do, but today it's going to mean just a little bit more
Til next time…count to 10 before you yell at your kids, maybe it just isn't worth it...
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