It's Friday! That in itself is always a good thing. We've got some summer like weather on the cusp of fall so that is good too. There's a chance of rain, which kind of sucks but we need the rain so can't complain too much!
Lots of reasons to be in a positive mood. Miss K. made a kick ass card for her dad's birthday this week. Her and I had signed and stickered a store bought one on the weekend, but this was way better.
I have no idea how long it took her but she nailed it. She spent a lot of time and bless our sitter's heart she had a lot of patience. My 3 year old kid printed out "Happy Birthday Daddy" and signed her name on a sheet of paper she cut out with "fancy" scissors. She drew a cake with candles, and though I'm still not totally sure I think the other things were meant to be balloons.
I don't like to show that kind of stuff off too much lest i become "that parent" but this was fantastic. Will post a pic so you can see. Yes, I'm sure that there are 3 year olds out there with much better writing or even working on their SAT's but it was awesome in my books.
So, that was cool, Big C's birthday was understated, but we had supper and cake together and opened presents, so not much more you could ask for.
But, that being said there's been a tinge of sadness on the edge of life these days.
Some of it is still missing puppy dog, she loved the fall so much, the cooler weather brought more of a spring to her already bouncy step.
No, its other stuff so profoundly sad it just creeps into your everyday thinking whether you like it or not…
There was a girl I went to high school with, we weren't great friends, maybe not even friends, more acquaintances, ah hell, I didn't care for her all that much truth be told, but she lost her husband last week. He hung himself, leaving behind her and 2 kids.
He'd battled depression for a few years, but everyone said he seemed a bit better lately. Perhaps it was just an illusion to make it seem less awful. A disguise of deeper more debilitating despair that he couldn't deal with.
No matter my feelings toward her in our much younger days, no one deserves that, no one deserves to lose the one they love that way. No one deserves to have to explain to their kids why dad is no longer coming home.
I can only imagine the sense of utter loss and emptiness, and if that weren't enough, the additional questions/guilt of how you may have been able to prevent it, help in some way, something or anything to stop such a horrible ending to life.
Then there's the extended family member that has decided that they're going to end their marriage after 17 years. There's just no love left they say. Well doesn't that just paint a pretty picture for the rest of us.
You may be in love now, but give it time folks and you'll end up hating your significant other. I mean we all probably hate our spouses on any given day or a given moment, but its fleeting.
I guess it makes me sad because our wedding anniversary is coming up. It's 6 years for us…but the prospect of feeling the way this other couple did in another 10 years or so just sucks.
It doesn't give me much faith in the world or in society. I wonder if we are under so much pressure that we just give up? Do we think we have to be perfect or else we're nothing?
Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a rainbows and buttercups sort of person. I'm not the eternal pessimist by any means but I think of it as more a realist with hope for the betterment of all.
I really want to see the good in things, I cheer for the underdog, I really do try to treat my neighbour as I'd want to be treated and so on and so on.
Sometimes things just seem bleak. Like everything and everybody has lost their way a little bit. There's good things happening out there, but they just don't seem to brighten the rest.
We're struggling to find a new place to live, that is in our price range, a reasonable commute to work, good school prospects for Miss K and so on and that search is frustrating to say the least.
We're struggling to find a way to get another dog into the house. I don't want to and we can't do the little puppy stage with us being gone from home so long everyday. But to find a more mature dog is a task in itself too.
So many challenges in life, and they're little compared to some, but they wear on you after a while. You want to give up, but something just keeps you forging on, working for something new and better
I guess that is maybe all we have…hard work and the hope that the dogged perseverance will pay off someday, or maybe it is paying off, I'm just not able to see it right now…
Til next time…enjoy the last bit of summer weather, it's probably all downhill from here...
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