To all the single parents out there, just wanted to let you know…I get it. I get where you're coming from, I get the struggles and the trials. I get the standing on one foot, twirling 3 plates on sticks while holding a screaming toddler balancing act that you do every single day. I think I finally understand.
I was raised by a single mom (and a single dad every other weekend) and I think that after a few years, when I reached my teens I knew that it was difficult. I knew money was tight, I knew it was hard to balance a kid's life and extra curricular activities and maintain some sort of life of your own. I think I was pretty aware that it was much harder with one parent than two in the house, but I don't think I quite grasped the depth of it all
I've had a few recent stints where I've been single parenting for a week or so at a time due to Big C.'s recent travel for work.
I'm not for a minute suggesting that I even come close to one tenth of one percent of what an actual single parent goes through in one day. But I think I understand more fully, and I will defend anyone who either by choice or by unfortunate circumstance has to take on a parenting role by themselves. It ain't easy being mom/dad/nurse/teacher/disciplinarian/etc… all rolled into one body.
Last week was supposed to be a 4 day run to a northern city for Big C. He had to leave on the weekend to get there, but no big deal. We'd done it before. Except that changed on Monday, now he'd be coming home briefly one night and leaving the next, to return on the following weekend. Then he'd have to go away again the following week. OK I thought, bummer. But we'll manage, no big deal.
I never sleep as well when he's gone, you always have to keep one ear open for the kid or fur kid and it raises up a notch when you know you're by yourself. So you just seem constantly tired when you're on your own. I imagine if you have to single parent full time you just resign yourself to sleeping when your kids finally go off to college.
So, Monday went pretty well at work, I thought all was good, Miss K had a good day at the sitter, so we headed for home. Got into the garage and was unloading the rugrat from the car when I can hear the dog howling from inside the house. She rarely barks and whining with excitement is common when she hears the car, but this seemed excessive. Whatever, I thought I will be in soon enough.
We're greeted at the door by the dog, which in itself is unusual since she's supposed to be in her kennel. OK, no big deal, we either didn't close the door quite right or she's learned how to get it open. She's been out before so I didn't really think much of it.
We weren't in the door 30 seconds when Miss K manages to tangle her feet and take her chin out on the coffee table that is downstairs. No blood or teeth through lips thank god, but tears of pain and surprise nonetheless.
Then there is whiny/howling dog. What is going on with her I think to myself, she's commonly vocal when we get home, but this is excessive?
I've just about got the hysterics from Miss K. down to a dull roar when we head upstairs to see not one but two piles of dog vomit on the living room floor. (no wonder the dog had so much to say, if there is a dog with a guilty conscience, ours is it) Oh boy, I think, what in the hell happened today?
So, I get the dog out for pee, give her a cookie, notice the food bin is ajar and put two and two together. Dammit she's had a seizure while we were gone.
She's gotten out of her kennel, either with the violence of the seizure or out of desperation once it was all over with. Typically she's famished after she's had one so the poor dog managed to get her food bin open a little bit and gorged herself, threw up and then gorged herself again…I found another throw up in the bedroom.
She drank her water dry, I'm sure drank out of one or both of the toilets in desperation for more water. (she never, ever, ever drinks out of a toilet, so I know the need for water must have been pretty dire)
So know I know why she was so upset when we came in, trying to tell us what happened and probably apologizing for barfing on the floor.
I was glad in a way that I didn't have to see her seizing, but sad that I wasn't there for her. Pretty pathetic that you feel that way for a dog, but what can you do, she's like a family member.
By now Miss K. sitting mindlessly on the couch, no more tears, I flipped on the tv in the hopes it would actually keep her occupied for a few minutes while I cleaned up and got supper going.
Not a good start to a week with no back up…I kept telling myself it could have been so much worse. Miss K. could have really gashed her chin, there was no blood, no stitches, really not much of a bruise after all was said and done.
The mud puppy ended up being OK, I hate the seizures, but things could have been worse or she could have completely destroyed the house, which she didn't.
Mind blowing at the time, but you're thankful almost afterwards.
So, high fives, congrats, chest bumps, balloons and cake to all the single parents out there who do this day in and day out.
I can't imagine the toll on you after years of doing it alone. I hope you have a super support system of friends and family who can help you out. I hope you manage to have a life as well as give your kids one. I hope you can find a way to stay financially secure in all of the mess.
One good benefit is, when your kids do something truly spectacular, or simply silly, you get all the glory and laughter/love from it.
Keep on doing what you do so well, til next time….
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