Oh boy it's sneaking up fast, Christmas is 11 days away. The time of year when everything goes crazy and when time seems to stand still all at the same time. When you're rushing to get everything done and also having moments that are so great that you wish you could stop the clock and bottle that time up to preserve it forever.
Weird how it goes, I'm not a big Christmas nut. Sure we decorate, do the tree thing, presents and such. I enjoy the visiting, family times, moments in the snow with all the twinkling lights (c'mon white Christmas), that's fun. You try to keep perspective and remember that this is really a religious holiday and not all about Santa and reindeer. I can do without the commercialism being rammed down your throat for 2 months, and everyone being all happy crappy telling you how to feel and such. Invite everyone over, love everyone, be happy and so on.
That's great but not everyone can be happy over the holidays, so I don't know why we push it so much. Job loss, sickness, death, these all happen year round, Christmas is no exception, so I don't think we should really be telling anyone how they should feel.
A bit off topic, but a segue into how Christmas time really makes me feel like a mom. Not sure why but it just drives motherhood home.
Perhaps its the baking with Miss K, her all excited to stir and make a mess in the kitchen with me. Using our cookie shooter was like play-doh on steroids for her, so much fun, a lot of mess and you got to eat the end result.
Maybe its the presents under the tree that all say "To: Mom" even the ones from my hubby.
Or the countless extra things to do that seem to fall in a mom's lap for the holidays. Not super huge chores, just things like making sure the rugrat has her Christmas dress and the tights I only just remembered she needs as she's grown so much this year. Getting our sitter a card and something extra for treating our daughter like one of her own kids. Watering the tree regularly so it doesn't drop anymore needles, thus adding another chore of sweeping/sucking them up. And as I'm writing this, maybe some cards for our good neighbours should be delivered?
Lots of mom things going on, even checking with your own mom and making sure things are good with her. Thinking about your mother in law who passed away 5 years ago at this time of year. It's a lot of "momness" following you around.
I still struggle from time to time with my role as mom/mommy/m-o-o-o-om. It's great, don't get me wrong, but I still miss the old me, the carefree single, or the double income no kids or fur kids couple. Some days its hard to let all that go, not that I want it back, I love where we are right now, but just the understanding that sometimes you long for that other place in your life.
I read somewhere not too long ago that becoming a parent is like jumping off a cliff into the ocean. You end up on a different beach after coming out of the water, different people, different activities etc… It's not that you can't go back and visit the folks at the top of the cliff, its just that you're in a different place that they don't understand and you will never be one of them again. Some people take the plunge repeatedly and increase the distance away from that original cliff by having multiple children.
Both places are still there, you just have to "be" in the one you are meant to be in.
So, embrace the "momness" or "dadness" of the season, enjoy what traditions/activities are special to you. Give an extra hug to everyone, thank them for supporting you, or not harassing you too much however you want to look at it.
Til next time…have a shortbread cookie for me
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