Girl tooth fairies and boy tooth fairies

Yesterday was both a sad and proud day as a parent.

Miss K lost her first tooth. Well, she didn't lose it, we knew exactly where it was as Big C was the one to actually pop it out of her mouth.

I was surprised when he said he was going to pop it out and she agreed. 

It wasn't quite the old piece of string around the tooth and close the door scenario, but close. The two of them managed to accomplish the feat of tooth extraction with no tears or conflict.

I'm not overly squeamish, but I've been battling some sort of stomach bug as of late and the thought of watching a tooth no matter how loose pop out of my child's gums did not sit well with me.

She was super stoked about the whole thing and for that I was proud of her. Very brave and confident and excited that she was one tooth down in the move to having all of her big teeth.

She even reminded the dog how she used to pick up his baby teeth when he would drop them around the house in his teething days. I'm quite sure he did not care and/or remember any of these events but he sat and listened intently just the same.

I was a tiny bit sad too. I remember that tooth coming in about 5 years ago. Wondering how on earth nursing was going to go with that little sucker touching my tender bits. It was all OK of course.

Funny too, how you're excited that the kids are growing and learning and maturing, but sadly nostalgic for what once was. It was exciting that your kid was cutting that tooth seemingly just a few years back and now you're equally ecstatic that they are losing it.

Weird how parenthood goes. The constant push and pull of wanting them to grow up and wanting them to stay small at the same time.

It took a great part of the evening discussing and planning how indeed the tooth would be placed so that the tooth fairy could find it and potentially leave something in exchange for this pearly white nugget.

We eventually settled on in her tooth jar, with the lid off on her nightstand by the night light so that the tooth fairy could see it well and so it wouldn't disturb her while sleeping.

The fairies decided on an amount appropriate for said tooth and determined a note would be a nice added touch as Miss K was kind of emotional about losing her tooth by the end of the night.

She was awake at 4:50 am. She said she needed a drink, I call bullshit, she wanted to know if the tooth fairy left anything.

She got up at 5:30 am when I did…not having gone back to sleep, thank goodness today is a PA Day and she can have a nap at the sitters if need be.

"Mommy I need to check whether my tooth is gone" At that time in the morning she could have asked to go and check if someone took our jar of peanut butter in the middle of the night for all I cared. 

"Mommy the tooth fairy left me a message too, can you read it?" Again, done. 

From what I can tell she divulged a bunch of information about the tooth fairies of the world while I was in the shower. I could not understand a word, only that she was talking and the tail end of the conversation was the revelation that boy fairies must pick up the teeth lost by boys and the girl fairies do the teeth lost by girls. Hard to fault good logic, but again it was early in the morning.

A big milestone in her life for sure and she is revelling in it for the time being. I suspect as more and more come out it will be less of a big deal but we'll take it as it comes.

We figure the other bottom one will be gone in the next week or two, so she really can sing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"…

Til next time…see if you can wiggle it just a little bit…lol

There is a first time for everything

When you are young you experience many firsts. The first time you sit up, the first tooth, the first time you lose a tooth. First steps, first trips, first day of school, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first time riding a bike, first time driving. 

Needless to say I could go on with the list of firsts. Young people can experience multiple firsts in just one day. As you get older though new adventures tend to wane a bit.

Not to say that you don't have them or can't go looking for them, it's just that age and time have sucked some of the life out of "firsts" if you know what I mean.

I had a first on the weekend. I went duck hunting with Big C, Miss K and the puppy dog. I guess it was  another first, as it was the first time hunting overall, not just  the waterfowl thing. 

We had a great time. The weather was decent enough, cool wind but mostly sunny and pleasant to be outside for 5 hours straight.

Miss K was very excited. She's talked for a while about going hunting with daddy and Saturday she finally got her chance. Most days Big C goes hunting at the crack of stupid in the morning and there is no way he's going to drag her out of bed at 3 in the morning for anything but a trip to the bathroom.

I will say it takes a lot of effort to get 3 people and a dog ready for one afternoon of hunting, but we managed to get out the door a little after lunch time.

Thankfully Miss K had a wee snooze on the way to the hunt location so she was raring to go for the remainder of the afternoon.

We set up a whole lot of decoys and helped Big C with targeting in his new shotgun. Which essentially meant we stayed the hell out of the way with hearing protection on and applauding when he made a good shot.

After all the set up was done it was time to head to our layout blinds and hunker in for whatever was to come. For those who don't know what a layout blind is, think low to the ground chaise lounge with fold over camouflage doors that flip up when time to shoot. Pretty cosy when the winds are high.

We didn't even make it to our layout blinds when Big C shouted "duck!" The bird that is not the take cover action. Him and the dog made a jog to get his shotgun and we stayed put. 

The two of them managed to flush the bird, shoot it, and after a bit of a hunt get the fallen bird. Another reason to hunt with a trained retriever as Big C said there was no way he would have ever found the bird without the dog's assistance.

So Miss K was overjoyed when the two of them returned to our set up with a duck in hand. Sadly this was the only one we'd see close up on the day as the other ducks and geese had no interest in visiting our little spot in the corn field.

Miss K had tons of fun hiding in the layout blind and then coming out again. She was a huge help when it came to packing everything up and never once did she say she was tired, or bored or wanted to go home. She didn't ask to watch TV, play on an iPad or wish for her toys. She was content to be outside with us and enjoy the happenings of the day.

I'm still not sure about the whole hunting experience. But I didn't grow up in that environment either. My biggest hunt was where the chicken for dinner might be hiding in the freezer.

I see the excitement and thrill of it a little bit. I suppose if push came to shove and I needed to do so for survival I probably could attempt it. 

For now, I'm content to leave Big C to partake of something he loves mostly by himself. Will there be times that we all go out again… I think so. Do I need to gear up and learn how to shoot things myself?  Not likely. In fact we're probably all better off if I just stay at home and cook whatever the men folk return with. 

It was great being outdoors, great being with the whole family doing something together for the afternoon and taking part in something so near and dear to Big C's heart. For that I will be always grateful, but tracking down wild game for a full time hobby is not in my future

Til next time…I hope you got to spend some quality time with those people that you hold dear to your heart and maybe attempt your very own new "first".

10 months down and another Hallowe'en dance done

The eleventh month of the year has arrived. I'm still not exactly clear where the first 10 months of 2015 have gone, but they are now in the past and we have about 50 days or so until a new year begins. Wow.

Hallowe'en has come and gone. It is not an event I like or dislike. I'm pretty neutral on it overall. I have some sort of inner moral dilemma with kids going door to door asking for treats from people they don't know when current times and school teachings warn of stranger danger. I do enjoy the decorations and the inventive and creative costumes that do come out. I'm mean who doesn't enjoy being something they're not?

Miss K got through the weekend, pretty well. She's had a bit of a cold that she says has been trying to catch her for a while, or she's trying to catch it. Scratchy throats and sore ears are remedied with some drugs so she was fit for Hallowe'en dances and things like that.

I have written before of Miss K's introverted and cautious style. Put her in a room of people she knows well and she is as gregarious and talkative as most kids. Stick her in a room with a lot of noisy and rambunctious kids and she is totally out of her element, not to mention quiet as a church mouse.

She glowed at the thought of attending the Halloween dance again this year. Being a SK, it was going to be so much cooler than last year she said. I figured it was because she knew the drill and it wouldn't be an unfamiliar situation.

Miss K did awesome from the time we hit the door to the school until we hit the gym, then it was a different story.

Before we got to where the "dance" was, she chatted with her teacher, said hi to school mates etc… but then the influx of stimuli happened and she shut down.

We even had tears, big crocodile ones. 

The gym was loud, sort of dark and filled with about 100 kids that could only be described as on some sort of sugar rush and it kind of resembled a roomful of chipmunks on speed. Super cute, but kinda scary.

I was right there by her side. I draw the line in settings like that with clinging to my leg and there is no reason whatsoever not to speak to people you know, but aside from those things, I let her do things at her own speed.

She's not an unpopular kid from what I can tell. Judging by the number of kids that repeatedly came over to say hi and/or try to get her to join in the pit of chipmunk frenzy I gather she is not a social outcast at school. Popular but in her own quiet way I'm guessing.

It was at least 40 minutes before she would venture an arm's length away from me. It broke my heart and made me so proud all in the same night.

I see so much of her dad and I in her. Totally in our element if we know the surroundings and people, not so much when the situation is bigger and less familiar.

You grow frustrated when you see that she is accepted by her friends, but always wonder in the back of your mind how long will they keep coming back if she keeps being so reserved?

I suppose there are always other kids out there that will identify with that and they'll become the close friends. I mean really how many of us still have friends that we had in elementary school?

There was one little girl at the dance that was a bit more outgoing than Miss K, but still stuck close to things she knew. Those two kind of hung out and shared probably more in common than their Elsa princess dresses.

It pains you as a parent to see your kid clam up and be so anxious. You want for them to be at ease in any situation.

But on the flip side you can see why they're not. Miss K shares my introversion, maybe not in the same way but I have no love for large crowds or worse yet small talk with people I don't know well.

I was very proud of her though. She seems like the kind of kid I would have gravitated towards at school or in social situations. 

She is not the over the top in your face kid that you really would just take a chill pill or go back to whatever wild and bold place they came from, but rather the fun loving one that just takes a bit to get to know.

Miss K wanted to go to that dance. I suspect she even knew at the tender age of five that it was going to be a tricky thing for her on a social level, but she fought through it just the same.

She needs to do things at her own speed and in her own way. Which I hope will bode well for her future.

I pray she is the kid that is able to think for herself and not do what the others are doing just because they are doing it. 

I applaud her quiet but genuine personality and wish that for her sake she can stand tough and be the kind of person that you want to be around.

I know I sure do.

Til next time…enjoy your mini chocolate bar hangover

Wiggly teeth and sad things

I feel a little sad today.

The gloomy weather isn't helping, I don't think I could live in England if its overcast and drizzly a lot of the time. That would royally suck…no offense to the queen…

Big C leaves tomorrow for his annual moose hunt. He is usually gone on the Thanksgiving weekend, so in that respect it was nice to have him home for the holiday. But it means 7 or 8 days of just me and the kid and fur kid. 

All will be well. We can handle it of course, it just sucks. I will miss him, Miss K will miss him and even the dog will miss him. And we cannot talk or Skype with him as he is off the grid so to speak.

As of about 9 am Friday morning we will not hear from him for 5 or so days and that plain takes a toll on everyone.

But we'll manage, its a temporary thing. Not like he's going to fight a war in some country, or taking off to climb a mountain and we don't know if he will ever come home.

On a lighter note, but still something that makes me sad is that Miss K has a wiggly tooth.

She was fired up this morning when she came into our bathroom to show us that indeed the bottom tooth was moving back and forth.

I'm excited for her as its a big step toward being a big kid, and she is excited that the tooth fairy may bring her something.

I'm sad though. I remember that tooth coming in. I remember seeing the white beneath the gums of my infant daughter and thinking that it happened too soon. And now a little less than 5 years later, she is looking to lose that first tooth and I'm still thinking its too soon.

She is happy though, and excited about the whole thing, so I will follow that enthusiasm and try not to shed any tears when it does actually come out.

Perhaps she can share some of her enthusiasm with the Blue Jays. They got walloped last night in game four of the best of 7 series. Their backs are against the wall now, and while one should never say never in sports I suspect there may be a whole lot of sad Canadians in the next few days as our only team loses its chance to get in the world series again.

Christmas is about 2 months away and that is a bid sad. 

Other than those things, which in the grand scheme of things are not really all that sad, life is pretty good overall.

Til next time…may the tooth fairy leave good things at your house...

150 minutes of my life wasted…or was it?

Two and one half hours of my life that I will never get back. 2.5 hours that I could have spent doing something else or taking a nap but instead I spent it basically taking up space.

Just one of those things that you do for your kids I guess.

Miss K was invited to another birthday party. She gets at least one a month, usually from kids that I have never even heard of her saying she plays with at school, but whatever, perhaps the parents invite everyone and hence the party invites.

She usually doesn't want to go. She has been to one so far and this was the second that she wanted to attend. But only if I could come too.

OK, not what I want to do on a Sunday afternoon, spend my time at a 5 year old's birthday, not even close to being on the list if you know what I mean. But at the same time I knew where she was coming from. I wouldn't be comfortable going to a strange house, with strange adults that I'd never seen before as a kid either. I seem to remember some pretty awkward feelings as a kid growing up in the same situation.

Thankfully I had met the mom of the girl having the birthday and felt ok asking if I could come along as Miss K felt more comfortable with the scenario.

Part of me wanted to say that no she couldn't go to the party unless she went by herself like the other kids. I wanted to say "You're five, nobody else is going to have their mom there". But I didn't and I wouldn't.

Miss K is a vibrant fun loving kid that will talk your ear off if she is comfortable with the surroundings and who she is with. 

She is still that same kid when the situation is unfamiliar, but it gets withdrawn into a shell of quiet observation when the tables are turned.

So we were off, to spend 150 minutes of tedium on my part, but it was nice to see Miss K relax and enjoy herself a little bit after a while.

I resisted saying too much or encouraging her to participate more but instead chose the role of supportive but mostly mute mom who was there for moral support.

One of those parental moments that you sort of want to hold onto. 

Big C and I were talking the night before about how excited (read not excited) I was to spend most of the afternoon at this party. We wondered how much longer we'd have before she didn't want us around any more. How soon was the day going to come that we'd have to drop her off and not leave the car, not hug her good bye or things like that.

I hated losing the afternoon to watch a bunch of children do crafts, eat and play games.

But I loved seeing Miss K look over from time to time and relief spread across her face seeing that I was there and smiling at her. I loved knowing that she had a great time and if my being there helped that, it was worth not having a power nap or folding laundry or whatever.

She is a great kid and if going to a birthday party or 2 or offering up another hug is what it takes to get her through, I'm all for it. As they say before you know it, it's gone, no more little kid, no more neediness, only independence.

Til next time…when your kid asks for help, I hope you can take the time to give it to them

Thanksgiving and the great marketing machine

Another long weekend has come and gone. A beautiful Thanksgiving weekend in these parts. Sunny, highs near 20 degrees, which at this time of year is a rarity. That's about 68-70 degrees for you folks that use Fahrenheit. 

And the weekend seemed long too. We didn't do too much special but it seemed like a good 3 day break from the everyday. Very nice to have the good weather to go along with it. 

We did a ton of yard work, not nearly enough I'm sure, as we'll still be out in the freezing cold trying so scoop up the last of the leaves and cut the grass one more time. But we're slowly getting stuff put away and cleaned up and ready for winter.

The weekend was not all work either. Big C and the dog got 2 hunting days in so that was exciting for them. Exciting for Miss K and I as well and we were able to sleep in. Not that we couldn't have slept in with them home, its just different somehow…quieter maybe is the word. I dunno, it was nice to sleep past 7 at least once and nearly 7 the other 2 days.

Miss K had her swimming lessons Saturday morning. There were no tears this week, she still cannot get over that she is too big for a parent to go in the pool with her. She feels a little out of her element all by herself I guess, but she's doing ok just the same.

We had a big family dinner on the weekend. My mom's family still gets together over Thanksgiving and Christmas. All the cousins now bring their kids and I'm suspecting in a few years we could even see another generation as the cousin's kids start having kids which is frightening unto its own.

There were about 28 or so of us for supper. A big group, but kind of nice that you could avoid the ones that you don't really want to talk to. One cousin was home that hadn't been in about 3 years so it was nice to see them. Others who shall go nameless, I just try to avoid.

Miss K had fun. She stuck pretty close to Big C and I for the most part but she was reasonably social and well behaved. She was also asleep about 15 minutes into the drive home, but when you play hard you sleep hard too.

Back to the grind for a shorter week which is always nice. Sucky that its the last long weekend before Christmas, but what can you do?

Speaking of Christmas my dislike for the season is increasing. There is Christmas crap in the stores already…already like 2 or 3 weeks ago already. Total bullshit. The marketing machine of corporate greed rolls on. Pretty soon we'll be able to buy Christmas lights with our kids back to school supplies.

It's awful. No wonder people get so stressed during the holidays, this crap has been shoved down your throat for over 2 months about buy this, do that, make this blah, blah blah.

I hate it. I don't hate much in this world but I hate the materialism, marketing and mayhem that goes along with it.

Deep down I quite like Christmas, there is much wonder and peace to be had with the season, but all this other crap I can do without.

I went this morning before work to pick up some solutions to our mouse in the house problem and a few other things and was assaulted by boxes and boxes of Christmas crap awaiting to be displayed in the aisles along with the stuff that was already there.

Not the way I wanted to start my day. Halloween is still 2.5 weeks away and I have to see all of that?

I don't get it, I never will and I will rebel against the Christmas machine. I long for a simpler time. Maybe not so simple that the gifts are handmade, but you get where I'm going…no one really needs a clove ball for their closet anymore do they?

We know Christmas is coming, we will probably decorate, and buy gifts but don't bombard us with gross displays of money grabbing commercialism until at least mid November…

I know its just my two cents…but that is about all I want to spend on Christmas at this time of year.

Til next time be thankful for what you have and enjoy the good weather while it lasts

Almost 4 Hollywood marriages and the need for more grace in our lives

It's nearing the end of September. Our summer like weather is soon ending. I told Miss K this morning that today may be the last day for shorts to school. She was bummed. I can't say as I blame her.

I am not in a position to wear shorts to the day job, however it is almost sublime to be able to come home the end of September and slip into a pair of shorts and walk around barefoot as the temperature is still nice enough to be able to do so.

Fall is nice don't get me wrong but it's not summer.

Tomorrow is anniversary number 8, which in today's society is about 4 Hollywood marriages. This time last year I was not even sure that we'd make 8 years. Things were weird, still are in some ways.

When your husband makes the statement that he is not in love with you anymore…your world turns upside down. A year later, I'm standing on my feet again, but balancing a lot of things and emotions still.

I do have faith we'll make 9 years and probably more. Things are better. There was no fighting or great conflict. I felt and still feel some days that Big C is troubled and though we talk about everything under the sun, this "stuff" is something he can't share with me.

It's troubling. But the footing underneath is more solid and I look at it as we can only go forward, we cannot go back to the past. 

I'm speaking up more. If only to say what I feel. Maybe not as much as I should, but I'm getting it out there a bit more.

It's not that I feel that either of us needs to change. Just that things need to be more out in the open. If I do so, then perhaps he will too.

Oddly it seems like this is another transition time in our lives. Not in an outward sense as we are both secure in our jobs, loving our house, Miss K is rocking the school thing and so on but in a more intangible sense.

I see old friendships changing or fading away and new ones forming. Activities once a regular thing taking the back seat to new experiences and opportunities.

You change, you roll with the punches, you adapt all while trying to keep your values, integrity and be grateful for the chances that you do have.

I think that is a big one for me right now. Gratitude. Or people's lack of it.

So much taken for granted, so much sense of entitlement and it can all be gone in an instant.

It's taking the time to ask someone how they are doing, or remembering an important event in their life.  Doing something for someone to show that you care. (I put completing school lunches and making your husband's lunch in this category only because I hate it so much). 

You don't have to go out of your way or spend a ton of money. Sometimes even the impersonal text message can be helpful when used in the appropriate way.

If someone gives you something or does something for you, say thanks. Please. Just say thank you. If your kid gets a birthday card from some distant relative, let them know it was received. It does not have to be formal or fancy, but tell them their effort was appreciated. 

Don't take anything for granted. If your kid asks for the 1000th time for you to do whatever annoying thing they want to do maybe it's time to do it. 

I sat and did some play-doh with Miss K yesterday for all of about 10 minutes but she was thrilled. I hate going to the park to play, but we go once or twice a month because it means a lot to her.

I say thank you when my husband cooks breakfast or makes me a drink and I mean it. 

As the saying goes; Life is short, play hard. Maybe life cannot be all play, but nourishing those relationships you need/want in your life is important. 

I can't stand that the house doesn't get cleaned on a regular basis, hate that there is more on the to-do list than the has been done list. However, I'm never going to regret a good water fight with my kid, or helping my husband out. 

Sometimes those opportunities get shoved to the side. Or we miss the chance to appreciate what others do for us. Who knows when just saying thanks could make someone's day?

I'm not an eternal optimist, more cynical and sarcastic, but I do believe there is good in the world and that we have to be cognizant of our surroundings and not miss out on the beauty of the world as well as the people in it.

If someone or something is not making your world a better place to be, then perhaps its time to move on to those that do.

Til next time…be gracious in all things you do, you may need some grace in your life when you least expect it